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Arundhati
Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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I will be attending my 30-year high school reunion this summer,

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I will be attending my 30-year high school reunion this summer, and my ex best friend of 20+ years will be there. I ended our friendship in 2003 when I felt it had become co-dependent and stagnant. I was also very disappointed in her for her actions toward her husband (belittling him, having an affair behind his back) and just generally became disgusted with her behavior. So my question is: what is the best way to approach her or respond to her - if at all- during our upcoming high school reunion? Since we share many of the same high school friends, I want to keep the awkwardness to a minimum. Unfortunately, she can be spiteful and gossipy. My usual approach to dealing with petty behavior is to ignore it and change the subject. However, because we were always together in school and we were still friends at the time of our last high school reunion, our mutual friends may be wondering why we're not speaking with each other at this year's reunion. Thanks for your help. - Sandy
Hi there,

Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.

I can understand your dilemma. Based on what you wrote, my recommendation would be to keep your interaction with your cordial but to a minimal. So for example if you find yourself face to face with her you can smile and say hello and ask how she's doing. But otherwise, if you can comfortably talk with others and avoid interacting with her then I'd recommend doing so. If it's a reunion with a number of people, others may not necessarily notice that you are deliberately avoiding your ex-friend. In other words if you can stay relaxed and enjoy yourself you won't raise any eyebrows among others as to your relationship with her. And if in case it does come up and someone asks you about it you can always downplay it and simply say that you're not so much in touch anymore and keep it at that without going into all the details.

I hope that was helpful. If you have thoughts/reactions to what I wrote above please do feel free to reply back and I'd be happy to respond.

Warm regards,

Arundhati
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