It is obvious that this bothers you. It is not clear if it bothers your daughter or not. I am assuming that you are not as close to your daughter as you would like to be. You can have a close relationship with your daughter even if she does not like your wife. You are all adults. You need to just take the plunge and talk to your daughter. Share your feelings with her, tell her your regrets, express your hopes for a better relationship. Do this when you can spend some quality time together. Go somewhere for a weekend or a couple of days, just the two of you. Take the time to talk and be sure to listen to what she has to say. The two of you have a lot of catching up to do. You did a great thing helping her with college, don't feel overly guilty about stopping the financial assistance, she probably graduated from college with little or no debt and that is a great start in life!