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Luann
Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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8 years ago I married a woman I had know for 5 years and had been dating for 7+ month

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8 years ago I married a woman I had know for 5 years and had been dating for 7+ months. My daughter was in her last year of college at the age of 28 years old in another state 1400 miles away. My new wife thought my daughter should be taking care of herself upon her graduation. Up until that time I had been helping her financially, tuition of course, but $500 toward her living expenses. My wife and I were buying a house and and the new responsibilities were something I wanted to assume. My daughter and my new wife did not hit it off. Everyone was civil but no warmth developed. It was all difficult for me but I had been single for 11 years. I stopped helping my daughter financially and, of course, living with my new wife seem to develope an estrangement between me and my daughter. How/should do I talk to her about 8 years ago. My daughter and I never spoke about my stoppin the help

Luann :

Hello

Luann :

It is obvious that this bothers you. It is not clear if it bothers your daughter or not. I am assuming that you are not as close to your daughter as you would like to be. You can have a close relationship with your daughter even if she does not like your wife. You are all adults. You need to just take the plunge and talk to your daughter. Share your feelings with her, tell her your regrets, express your hopes for a better relationship. Do this when you can spend some quality time together. Go somewhere for a weekend or a couple of days, just the two of you. Take the time to talk and be sure to listen to what she has to say. The two of you have a lot of catching up to do. You did a great thing helping her with college, don't feel overly guilty about stopping the financial assistance, she probably graduated from college with little or no debt and that is a great start in life!

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