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Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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My boyfriend who I recently moved in with, buys items on the

Customer Question

My boyfriend who I recently moved in with, buys items on the internet and then tells the company he didn't receive the item, when in fact he did. He then asks them to credit his account, because he changed his mind about the item. He has been doing this I guess for years. I don't think I want to be here anymore. What do I do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Luann replied 5 years ago.

Luann :


Luann :

It sounds like you have discovered a side to your boyfriend that you were not aware of before moving in with him. You are uncomfortable with his behavior because this goes against your values. You value honesty and responsibility. Now you are wondering about his character. You are right to question this and you are lucky to find this out early in your relationship. Trust your instincts, if you do not want to be living with him, start making plans to move. You are not trusting him right now and trust is a basic ingredient in a successful relationship.

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Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I thank you for your advice. I have moved out to my own apartment. I made a huge mistake. I left my mobilehome, ruined my credit and he made me give up my cat if I wanted to move in with him. He now says he is sorry for everything. I found out now that everything he claimed he bought for me as a gift he got how I described above. I have gave up everything I owned for him. I sold all my furniture and now live in a 1 bd apartment with ruined credit. He says he loves me, but how can he? He has been lying to me for so long :(
Expert:  Luann replied 5 years ago.


You are right to be distrustful. Trust your instincts. This sounds like a horrible, destructive experience for you. Be cautious, don't jump into anything or make any quick decisions. He may love you or he may be saying he loves you to manipulate you. Only time will tell you which it is. Take your time and let him know he needs to regain your trust and that will take time. If he is not willing to put the time or effort into regaining your trust than you have your answer. Focus on you and rebuilding your life, not on him. I strongly encourage you to seek therapy to process the hurts you have experienced and to rebuild your self-esteem. Good luck to you.

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