Let me share with you some rational trains of thoughts that I think have probably crossed your mind, but you don't think about regularly, because the strongly emotional trains of thought dominate your thinking. (I wish I could work with you some more to get the rational thinking to occur more often---which would help you feel much better emotionally)
1. I married a man with narcissistic and socipathic personality traits.
(You can Google these topics on the web to read more, if you haven't done so already). You may not have known this at the time you agreed to marry him, but certain signs would have been apparent if you had taken time to get to know him e.g., selfishness, lack of empathy, tendency to act impulsively, lying/cheating/deceitfulness, externalizing blame for problems constantly, untrustworthiness, sense of titlement, belief that rules apply to other, but not him, self-indulgent.
1a. Related thought, I could kick myself in the pants and be angry with myself for marrying this guy and staying with him, but that would do NO GOOD for me at this point because it is 'water under the bridge.
Related thought, I need to stay a tiny bit mad at myself for being this foolish, but only to cause me to be cautious in the future so I learn from my mistakes. I would never make this mistake again because I'd be much more careful in choosing who I date in the future
2. The women he is hanging out with and this other woman he will marry lack integrity and personal ethics; they are a lot like my ex, so my husband deserves them.
Related thought: I can stay angry at this other woman for what she did, or I can 'let go' of the anger; when I think of her, I will picture a pathetic, sad woman who has no idea what she is blinding herself to in this relationship with my ex
Related thought: This other woman will eventually suffer the same pain and fate I did, so there will be poetic justice; they will almost certainly cheat on one another.
3. I am a very loyal, loving, compassionate, forgiving person with much integrity.
3a. Related thought: I deserve much better treatment than I received from this lousy man.
Related thought: I CAN do much better in a future relationship if I am careful and take my time. I can find someone who is loyal, loving, compassionate, and who has integrity.
4. Part of my problem is that I'm lonely and depressed. I'm fighting this emotional battle quietly, because no one really knows my pain.
4a. Related thought: I WILL get through this and this terrible chapter in my life will make me a stronger and BETTER person.
I'm going to stop here and ask you to read and re-read these RATIONAL self-statements. Please read them and think about each one for a minute, as if you believe each of them. Then write back to me and tell me what you think and whether these ideas improve your immediate emotional state, at least a tiny bit, as you think these thoughts..............