Luann are you there?
It sounds like you do a lot of good things for yourself but are finding it is not quite enough. I encourage you to get more emotional support for yourself. Get into a support group like Alanon or a divorce group. I also encourage you to get into individual therapy. Therapy will give you more support, help you process your feelings and assist you in deciding what to do with the man you have fallen in love with.
Unless you live close to Frisco, CO, I can not be your counselor as I do not do on-line counseling. Good luck in finding someone in your area.