Hi Stephanie, I'd like to help you with your question.
Transference occurs when a person brings their past, unresolved issues into therapy and transfers their needs onto the therapist. Often, a person who experiences erotic transference has unresolved sexual issues most likely from childhood. That does not mean that the transference is about sexual abuse, but instead it could also be from deep unmet needs. The person sees the therapist as the person who can answer their unmet needs so they transfer these feelings onto the one person they feel can save them.
When your original therapist encouraged your feelings instead of addressing them clinically, it most likely brought out all of the feelings you had in your past and left you with no way to cope with them. That could have been too overwhelming for you and caused your suicidal feelings.
One of the issues here is that you keep seeing male therapists. This is not a bad thing in and of itself if you are making progress and have insight into what is causing the transference. But if you are not gaining insight, being treated by a male therapist is not helping you.
Seeing both a male and female therapist is a good idea. This will help bring out the feelings you transfer onto the male therapist so the female therapist will be able to address the issue. It will be more clear to her and you will not be transferring the same issues onto her. That does not mean you will not transfer anything at all on her, but most likely it will be very different in nature.
You should see your insight into this problem as very good. If you were not aware of the transference, then you would have great difficulty addressing it. However, now that you are aware of it, you can control it. Be aware of when you start to feel the feelings in therapy and bring it up with your therapist. Explore what in your past would cause you to feel the need to have a relationship with your therapist. Was it a relationship issue with your father? A deep need for approval? Abuse? The original cause needs to be explored and ultimately resolved for you to be able to stop the transference. As it is, see it as a symptom of whatever you are in therapy for. This will help you cope with it better.
I hope this has helped you,