Thank you for the information. It helps.
It sounds like your daughter's husband is still living as a bachelor and using you as a free place to stay. He is going out, not taking responsibility for his marriage and basically using everyone in your family as his support.
There is not going to be a way to communicate with him and change him. In order to change this situation he is going to have to want to change, and it does not seem he is interested in changing at all, based on his behavior. He has everything he wants. He keeps all of his money, has a free place to stay and no one tells him what to do.
Your daughter has two choices. She can stay with him, with the understanding that he most likely is not going to change, and may never change. Or she can leave the relationship. If she decides to leave, she needs to have him removed from your home. If she lets him stay, he will continue to freeload and ignore his responsibilities.
Your daughter may also want to consider going to counseling. Right now, she is going through a very tough time and needs the support of a therapist to help her make the right choice. She also may want to have help in dealing with the loss of her marriage and the upcoming birth of her baby. That is a lot of stress to cope with at the same time and therapy can help her manage her feelings and get through this. To find a therapist, she can ask her doctor for a referral. Or if she attends church, her pastor can help. Or she can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
I hope this has helped you. Please let me know if you have any further questions.