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Tamara
Tamara, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1073
Experience:  20+ yrs Private Practice; Cert. Master Therapist; National Board Certified; APA Board Certified
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Me and my wife had a baby girl in June 2010 and since that

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Me and my wife had a baby girl in June 2010 and since that time my wife does not get horny at all and if we try to do it, it is very painfull for her. Doesn't matter what I do, she does not get turned on. What can we do to get our love life back?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Tamara replied 5 years ago.
Hi. Welcome to JustAnswer. I'm pleased to try to help you today.

It is very common for women to lose some sexual desire after they have a baby. Becoming a mother is very emotionally and physically draining, and there is frequently no time or energy for sexual activity. So expecting to have the same type of sexual relationship you had before children is probably somewhat unreasonable - at least right now. Unfortunately, there is no medication that helps women increase their sexual desire. If it is really bothersome to you, I would suggest that you consider talking to a therapist about how you are feeling and get some help adjusting to your new role as a father (and to how it has changed your marriage). It might also be helpful for your wife to talk with someone to help her better understand her needs and feelings right now. Do your best to be supportive and understanding. But I would encourage you both to talk with someone so that this issue doesn't become a problem.

Best wishes, and please let me know if I can answer any further questions. Tamara
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