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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5419
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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if my husband calls me a witch, lets doors slam in my face,

Resolved Question:

if my husband calls me a witch, lets doors slam in my face, walks two paces ahead of me and can go for days/weeks without speaking to me. Does that constitute mental abuse?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It definitely sounds like your husband is an abuser. What he is doing is considered domestic abuse. Domestic abuse can be physical, mental or emotional. Just because you do not have bruises or blood does not mean you are not being abused.

 

If your husband belittles, tries to control you, or forces you with threats to do things that make you feel ashamed or humiliated that is abuse. Calling you names, slamming doors in your face and making you walk behind him are all ways he is shaming you. This is similar to bullying.

 

You can get help. There is a domestic abuse hotline for you to call anytime, day or night. With the link I'm going to give you (which also includes the hotline number on the right hand side), there is also a very excellent guide to domestic abuse. Use it to educate yourself and for resources to help you get out of this situation. Here is the link: http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

 

Unless your husband can admit he is abusing you and get help, it is unlikely he will change. And the abuse may continue to get worse. Try getting support through family and friends. Learn the women's shelters in your area in case you need to get out of your home quickly and can't get to a family members or friend's home. Also consider leaving the relationship. I would rarely advise that as a counselor, but if you are being abused, it is almost always the best option.

 

Here are some books that may help you:

 

Whose Face Is in the Mirror?: The Story of One Woman's Journey from the Nightmare of Domestic Abuse to True Healing by Dianne Schwartz

 

It's My Life Now: Starting Over After an Abusive Relationship or Domestic Violence, 2nd Edition by Meg Kennedy Dugan and Roger R. Hock

 

No Visible Wounds: Identifying Non-Physical Abuse of Women by Their Men by Mary XXXXX XXXXX

 

You can find these on Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.

 

Please take care,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5419
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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