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Luann
Luann, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 158
Experience:  Licensed Psychologist, 24 years experience working with children, adolescents, families and adults.
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I need help controlling my jealousy. My husband had knee surgery

Customer Question

I need help controlling my jealousy. My husband had knee surgery and is now in physical therapy. His phy. therapist is a young attractive woman and the thought of him spending 1-1/2 hr with her twice a week for the next month (or 2 mos.) is driving me crazy. Should I go work out at the same facility while he is there to feel more connected to the situation and not left out or should I stay away?<br /><br />I am mortified to learn that my question could land on the internet and be googled... I want to forget this whole thing and have my money refunded. 
Submitted: 6 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Luann replied 6 years ago.

Luann :

Hello

Luann :

I can understand you feeling mortified, but please don't. Your feelings are not that unusual. You need to look at where these jealous feelings are coming from. Has your husband given you reason to be jealous? From what you have written it does not seem so. Or are these feelings coming from inside you, feelings of insecurity? From your description this sounds more likely. Wherever the feelings are coming from I do not recommend that work out at the same facility. That will probably only increase your feelings and create more tension with your husband. You need to focus on you, strengthening your confidence and self-esteem. This will best be accomplished by working with a counselor/therapist. Do the most loving thing for yourself and make an appointment today. You sound very motivated to improve yourself and your marriage. While you wait for an appointment, do your best tostop yourself from thinking jealous thoughts. Distract yourself by changing your activity, going for a walk, cleaning a closet. Tell yourself "no" when those jealous thoughts erupt. Listen to music, go for a drive. You deserve to feel better, take the steps that will get you where you want to be.

Customer:

I hear what you are saying but I have been this way for so long and these feelings are so strong that I can't imagine anything changing me. I know how men are and I imagine my husband is attracted to this woman. The thought of him looking at her and wanting her kills me. I do not know how I am going to deal with this for the next month.

Luann and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Luann replied 6 years ago.

That is a miserable way to feel! Find a therapist you feel comfortable working with and make at least a months worth of appointments. Change is possible, you will have to work at it but it will be worth it. Good luck to you.