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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5418
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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To a psychologist or psychiatrist, I have been feeling hopeless

Resolved Question:

To a psychologist or psychiatrist,

I have been feeling hopeless for many years now. I've thought about suicide and how it would hurt people I love. I don't want that, but it feels like I am getting weaker and weaker. I really do want a way out and talking to friends or my counselor is no longer enough. I really need help. What can I do for myself? I know it is perspective, but I have no ability to get myself to do anything. I am often just stuck in indecision, but right now I am just stuck on not trying anymore. Can you offer any advice? Death is too complicated and would hurt my family. How can I get out?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It sounds like you are depressed. The fact that you are thinking about suicide means that you need to act now to help yourself. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? If you are, mention this symptom to them. Have you also mentioned your feelings to your therapist? They need to know so they can help.

 

Have you tried educating yourself about depression and your feeling of hopelessness? There are many resources available to you. Here are some suggestions:

 

The Cure for the Chronic Life: Overcoming the Hopelessness That Holds You Back by Deanna Favre and Shane Stanford

 

Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain by David L. Conroy

 

The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-step Program

(Workbook) by William J. Knaus and Albert Ellis

 

Have you also considered the spiritual aspect of your life? Sometimes, when nothing else works, exploring your beliefs can help you feel hopeful. If you attend church, consider talking with your pastor about how you feel. It is easy to lose perspective when you feel hopeless and talking about your spiritual feelings can help.

 

If you feel that your current therapist is not helping, you should consider switching. Sometimes, finding a good therapist is like finding a good doctor- it takes a few tries before you find a match. You can talk with your doctor for a referral or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.

 

If you start to feel worse and your suicidal feelings increase, go to the emergency room immediately. They can do an evaluation and possibly admit you if necessary.

 

I hope this has helped you,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5418
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Kate,

Thanks for a thoughtful answer. I've reached out like this before and sometimes people have good advice and other times nothing. The problem I can't seem to get out of my problems.

I have a pscychiatrist and he is pretty good, but doesn't talk. My psychologist is from psychology today and has been a lifesaver. She just doesn't want to talk about the past and this could be me but I feel like she is too innocent to make her listen to crap. She has wonderful things like babies in her life now to thnk about. I thinks she has given me a lot, but is not sure now of what to do, becasue I am stuck.

Do you think there is a particular type of therapist who would be willing to talk about the past and help see how it is hurting me now or is the past just not something to rehash? I like to rehash to get out bad feelings and have resolve, but I can overdue it. Im sure she has seen this.

I am looking to hide away even though I've done it most of my life. Maybe if I just thought about one thing at a time I could forget that I am not up to par.

You have helped already, so i'll except, but please write me if you can help me find a type of therapist I can afford and would help!

Thanks so Much!
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Yes, I think there is a therapist who is willing to talk about the past. Matter or fact, that is currently the trend in therapy right now. It has gone from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which might be what your therapist practices now, to a new technique called Integrated therapy. Integrated therapy combines CBT and talking about the past to help offer a more thorough therapy to help many more patients. CBT works great, but talking about the past sometimes is needed in therapy for the patient to progress.

 

You can search for a new therapist based on the new theory, or simply ask any therapist you contact if they deal with working on causes of problems in therapy.

 

There is nothing wrong with talking about the past and how it affects you as long as you keep in mind that you want to move forward and not stay in the past with the feelings it causes.

 

Here is a good link on how to find a good therapist:

http://psychcentral.com/find-therapist/

 

You can also try your local community mental health facility for affordable treatment. They probably have many therapists to chose from and you will have a better chance to find one you like and that can help you with your problems.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5418
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Thanks for all your help! I can be taxing on people who have to deal with me all the time. If you don't mind maybe I could talk to you sometimes?
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Sure, that would be fine- anytime! I'd be happy to help. I enjoyed working with you.

 

If you want to request me, put my name in front of the question and say "For Kate only". If you request me through JA's system, it only gives me an hour to get to it and it most likely will end up in the general questions list.

 

Take care,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5418
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
For Kate McCoy

Ok, thanks! I do this when I talk to Susan Ivy, another practioner who has been a lifesaver for me!

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