Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It sounds like you are depressed. The fact that you are thinking about suicide means that you need to act now to help yourself. Are you seeing a psychiatrist? If you are, mention this symptom to them. Have you also mentioned your feelings to your therapist? They need to know so they can help.
Have you tried educating yourself about depression and your feeling of hopelessness? There are many resources available to you. Here are some suggestions:
The Cure for the Chronic Life: Overcoming the Hopelessness That Holds You Back by Deanna Favre and Shane Stanford
Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain by David L. Conroy
The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-step Program
(Workbook) by William J. Knaus and Albert Ellis
Have you also considered the spiritual aspect of your life? Sometimes, when nothing else works, exploring your beliefs can help you feel hopeful. If you attend church, consider talking with your pastor about how you feel. It is easy to lose perspective when you feel hopeless and talking about your spiritual feelings can help.
If you feel that your current therapist is not helping, you should consider switching. Sometimes, finding a good therapist is like finding a good doctor- it takes a few tries before you find a match. You can talk with your doctor for a referral or you can search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/.
If you start to feel worse and your suicidal feelings increase, go to the emergency room immediately. They can do an evaluation and possibly admit you if necessary.
I hope this has helped you,
Yes, I think there is a therapist who is willing to talk about the past. Matter or fact, that is currently the trend in therapy right now. It has gone from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) which might be what your therapist practices now, to a new technique called Integrated therapy. Integrated therapy combines CBT and talking about the past to help offer a more thorough therapy to help many more patients. CBT works great, but talking about the past sometimes is needed in therapy for the patient to progress.
You can search for a new therapist based on the new theory, or simply ask any therapist you contact if they deal with working on causes of problems in therapy.
There is nothing wrong with talking about the past and how it affects you as long as you keep in mind that you want to move forward and not stay in the past with the feelings it causes.
Here is a good link on how to find a good therapist:
You can also try your local community mental health facility for affordable treatment. They probably have many therapists to chose from and you will have a better chance to find one you like and that can help you with your problems.
Sure, that would be fine- anytime! I'd be happy to help. I enjoyed working with you.
If you want to request me, put my name in front of the question and say "For Kate only". If you request me through JA's system, it only gives me an hour to get to it and it most likely will end up in the general questions list.