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Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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Hi, I worked for a year in a very unpleasant Trust. The

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I worked for a year in a very unpleasant Trust. The behaviour was extremely bad.
I complained after the first 2 months and that triggered a very bad reaction by my female boss. She probably felt insulted and threatened as I sought advice and support by somebody more senior than her. I had a dreadful year during which I was constantly put down, despised and discouraged. Unfortunately I could not leave as it is a training position. I moved to another place after 12 months and there things were a lot better - actually they already knew so they tried to support me as much as they could. 10 months after leaving that place and I still do not feel 100% right. Better, yes, but not 100%.
During my time there and for the first 6 months afterwards I was feeling extremely disappointed by my professional choices and angry that for 1 year I was so helpless and hopless. While I was still there I lost a lot of weight and the worse thing is that I could not remember much. My memory was awful at the time. Scary for a very demanding profession!!
I had routine blood tests and everything was fine - as I thought it will be. I was not suicidal, did not want to hurt myself or anybody else. All I wanted at the time was to leave. Escape! I reached very close to resigning but then it has been so hard work to get to this stage of my career that I finally decided to persevere and pay the price...I do not think I was depressed. Currently I feel a lot better, about 70% of what I consider my baseline. It still brings tears to my eyes when I remember the way I was treated and most importantly the constant fear while working in that place. All my life - I am now 36 - i have been a very happy person; the one to make others laugh, very optimistic and enthusiastic. I finished the University with prizes and a distinction and at the same time I learned my third language. I have always been against holiday - regarded as a waste of time!
Where is all that energy gone? Is it my age? what happened to me? Do you think I have been depressed and how can I help myself?

Many thanks,
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Arundhati replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for writing to Just Answer and sharing your difficult experience.

It sounds to me like the previous position took a huge toll on you - emotionally, psychologically. The constant fear, stress, nervousness, anxiety - all lead to feeling unwell, memory loss, possibly confusion, trouble performing at your best and depression and anger at being so helpless. Even though you are now out of that situation - the psychological impact it had on you continues to this day. It is almost like PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) where the traumatic past event continues to impact your present life.

You have clearly been a type A worker, very dedicated, committed and sincere. But the emotional toll of the situation of your past job has sapped you of energy. My recommendation to you would be to seek out a cognitive behavioral therapist (CBT Therapist) and start treatment. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a kind of therapy that helps to uncover distorted beliefs, views or assumptions that stressful events might have led you to adopt and which you are now continuing to operate under. A CBT therapist can then help you to change your thinking/perspective and help you adopt more positive/empowering beliefs and views.

I hope this was helpful.

Please let me know if you have additional questions, thoughts, reactions to what I wrote above. Please also consider clicking on the green "accept" button if this answer was helpful since experts are not paid for their time or service otherwise.

Thank you,

Warm regards,

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