Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
I just need some clarification so I can give you the best answer I can.
How long has it been since you broke up?
What kinds of books have you read? Did you find any of the information helpful or not?
Thank you for the information. It helps.
It is good that you have tried various ways to address your pain and hurt. It shows that you do want to move forward and that you will, someday soon, feel better about this break up and be able to move on.
The stages of grief are very important. Any time we have a loss, from the death of a pet to the death of a loved one, we grieve. A relationship loss can take a long time to heal from because relationships give us so much- companionship, love and someone to care for us.
If your partner just left in November, that has not been a long time at all. Grieving is different for everyone, but since you were in a long term relationship, it will most likely take a little longer for you. However, like I said before, it sounds like you are already making progress. You said you move between anger and acceptance. That is a good sign.
Since you have tried to contact your partner and it didn't work out, you may want to try other methods on your own to deal with your feelings about the break up and your partner's new relationship. Write a letter to her, for example. This is a letter that you will not send so you can say anything you feel and think about your feelings. Do it all in one sitting or start it and keep adding to it as you need to. The main point is to not hold back.
You can also start a blog. Make this a private one since you do not want anyone to get hurt by it. A blog gives you a chance to post as much as you need to. And you can also look back on your progress as you heal so you know how far you have come.
Try going out as much as you can with friends and family. Keeping yourself busy helps. It also gives you experiences without your partner and the more you have without her, the more the relationship slips into the past.
Laugh, a lot. That may seem minor, but laughing helps you heal psychologically by promoting good hormones and giving you a lift.
There are also some additional books that may help. One is called The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life by XXXXX XXXXX. Another is Coming Apart: Why Relationships End and How to Live Through the Ending of Yours by Daphne Rose Kingma. These are available at Amazon.com or your local library may have them for you.
It sounds like you are on the path to healing. I think if you continue as you are and keep working on your feelings, you will find one day soon that you can think of this relationship as in the past and you will no longer feel sad or angry.
I hope this helped you,
It's really hard to give you a exact time frame since everyone reacts to grief in different ways. Also, it depends on the situation as to how long you grieve.
You are moving forward and that is the important part. You keep trying and that is a good sign.
Most relationships can take up to a year to get over. You should not use this as a sure measurement since everyone is different. You very well may feel better a lot sooner. However, if you feel that you cannot function in daily life and can't stop crying, then you should seek out a therapist.