Hello there in Memphis,
I am so sorry to hear how sad you are. I can see how your losses across time have compounded each other, each one bringing up the sadness from the one before. I understand that this man has broken your heart, but maybe it wasn't meant to be and perhaps the other lady who he is marrying will have to live with this man's issues and habits - perhaps he will break her heart too in time. Do please have a look at this website
http://www.psych-trauma.com/index.htm it is an EMDR centre in Memphis. Even if you have no health insurance, go and visit them, or call them, as they may be able to help you or may know somewhere else you can gain assistance. As you can see from their site, they will understand totally where your heartbreak is coming from. My professional perspective on your eating patterns is that this is a response to the 'emptiness' (or whatever you would call it) that comes from your experiences both in the past and more recently. The food is intended to 'fill the gaps' and to make you feel better, which is why it is called 'comfort food' or 'comfort eating' - but as you are probably finding, it really won't meet your emotional needs, and you will put on weight and that becomes a further problem. It might help you to know that this is a standard pattern and you are not alone in it - there are many women and men who eat to try and make themselves feel better. It's so difficult to help you over the internet with this, so please do contact the EMDR centre in your town and they should point you in the right direction. Ring them today!!! Take care now, Sarah
and I checked the information you give me and I will do some following up on it and in the mean time I will but trying to find some one to help me with this issuse, I hope in time I can fell like myself again, Because I can even do the things I enjoy such as reading or have my book club meetings, Ms Sarah he really did hurt me emtional because this was my hight school sweet-heart and we have a 19yearold son together and he and just broken up maybe 9months ago and now his getting married to this woman. thats hard pill to take but life must go on for me and I work on myself .
You are a very brave lady, and I can hear your fighting spirit now. You know in your heart that you deserve better than this and you know also that your children need their mummy to be herself again. Try not to chastise yourself for the material things that you cannot provide - your children will love you for your time, your love and your kind words, more than anything. Stick with the things you enjoy, even if its only 10 minutes - try and do these things instead of eating - cuddle the children, talk to them about how much you love them, even if they are asleep, it can make you feel so good, you won't need the food. It all needs paying for, you will be saving money too. Imagine all of the things you would like to say to this man and say them out loud, as if to him. Tell him how much he has hurt you, how deeply you feel/felt for him, but how you are now going to protect yourself and be strong for those who love you. Imagine him in the basket of a hot air balloon, floating into the sky - keep it on strings that you are in control, so you can decide how high and far away you can allow him to be. Draw him closer so you can tell him how he much he has hurt you, then allow him drift further and further away, until one day, whenever you are ready, you will need him no more and you can cut the strings for good. I understand he is the father of your son and you will always therefore have some connection to him in your life - but the strings need not come from the heart - eventually they can come from somewhere less painful. I repeat, you are a very brave lady and you can do this for yourself and your children. Do follow this through - you can be strong for yourself. Big Best Wishes from England to Memphis, Sarah (Do you live near Gracelands? - do please send a kiss in the right direction from me!!)