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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5763
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I had a therapist suggest that I was lazy, or had some lazy

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I had a therapist suggest that I was lazy, or had some lazy characteristics. She told me that it was o.k., but that we needed to consider this when discussing job possibilities, goals, etc. She suggested that people are different, and that they needed to adjust their lifestyle decisions with personal characteristics as a consideration.
I was rather taken back by this, because my entire life I've been told how hard a worker I am/was. I'll admit that in areas outside of my actual job, I do very little. My apartment gets messy, dishes pile up, I don't exercise, or socialize. Most if not all of my energy I put into my job. When I get home I am totally exhausted. I believed that most of these issues were due to the intense depression I felt I was going through. Maybe I didn't convey to her just how bad I was feeling, and just how depressed I was.
I never really believed in the idea of Lazy. It seems like such a relative term. Lazy to me is not something that is inherent in a person, but is a result/symptom of a greater problem. What is lazy to one, may not be lazy to the other.
What is lazy anyway? Is it built in to us as a human trait? Do we adjust our life around it? Am I lazy, or was my therapist wrong?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  TherapistMarryAnn replied 5 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


Lazy is a choice. It can be a taught behavior but most of the time, people chose to be lazy. Being lazy is a part of being human, but we decide when we will be lazy and when we will be productive. Mental health wise, it is a good idea to be lazy once in a while. When you work hard or are going through a stressful time, being lazy can re energize you and prepare you to work hard again. It can also give you time to think, which in the long run, makes you more productive.


The harm with choosing to be lazy too often comes when someone neglects important tasks or chooses being lazy over working. Bills go unpaid, job obligations are not met, and the person's life starts to become unproductive. Also, being lazy can affect a person's health and well being. The person loses muscle mass, becomes overweight and/or becomes sick. Their mind is no longer engaged as much so thought processes are affected.


The difference here for you is that your therapist chose a very unwise way of expressing themselves. Depression is a very difficult to live with and being more tired than usual and unmotivated to care for your home and self is very common. It does not mean you are lazy. It is simply part of the symptoms of depression and it is what the therapist is supposed to be working on with you, in a productive and positive manner.


A therapist should never call someone lazy or any other name or label. It is not appropriate, especially given the kind of relationship a therapist has with the person they are helping. The patient is vulnerable and sharing their deepest feelings. So making a mistake like labeling someone lazy can hurt deeply.


It is up to you if you want to continue with this therapist. If you feel you can trust this person and want to continue, talk with them about the effect this label caused for you. Make sure you feel safe enough to continue. If you get a defensive response, you may want to consider switching therapists.


I hope this has helped you,




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