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mindhealer
mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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how 2 get over a break up i have been wt him 4 the past 5 years

Customer Question

how 2 get over a break up i have been wt him 4 the past 5 years he is married plz help me 2 forget him am not able 2 accept that he fooled me i love him very much i tried my best not 2 break up but he went bak 2 his wife i lost my husband bcoz of him i sufferd a lot bcoz of him and now he left me with all d pain i even told his wife about us still he did not do anything 4 us 2 b 2gether all he did is walked away am not able 2 accept am suferring a lot crying 24 7 plz need help
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  mindhealer replied 5 years ago.

Good evening. First please allow me to say how sorry I am that you are going through such a difficult period in your life as a result of this man. Based on what you have identified in your question it sounds though this started off as feelings of grief and loss. A lot of people attribute loss to someone passing away but the pain of losing someone such as in your case can be just as painful, if not more so.

 

I notice that you are already on an antidepressant which is very good. Following up on what I mentioned above that this likely started off as a loss response...it's probably turned into a depressive episode which likely prompted your physician to start you on the citalopram...which is a very good medication and in case they didn't explain it to you...it takes approximately 6 weeks for it to build up an effective level in your blood to start working.

 

Having said that, what will truly benefit you in helping you work through this difficult period in your life would be for you to see a therapist. Preferably one who is experienced in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy as this helps you to identify the impact that your thoughts have on your emotional state and where they can lead you to...which is often a negative state. I would also like to suggest a workbook based on the same theoretical approach which includes exercises that you can do in the interim period until you see a therapist. Please find below the link to the workbook.

 

http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Depression-Step-/dp/1572244739/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1294319722&sr=1-1

 

I sincerely hope this has helped and please feel free to ask any additional questions or if you need clarification on any of the suggestions I've offered.

 

 

Please let me know if you have any further questions that I can help in answering for you.

If you feel that I've answered your question to your satisfaction then I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've provided to you. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response.

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
ihave been on this medication 4r 10 years i was ok but now all i think of how 2 hurt him i keep sending him msges non stop swearing on him calling him non stop all he say he cant do me anything even though he new how much its hurting me
Expert:  mindhealer replied 5 years ago.
My first suggestion would be to see your physician about a change in medication...if your primary care doctor of GP is writing it for you I would suggest that you get a referral for a psychiatrist. The pain that you are experiencing is being sustained by you continuing to message him and email him. I hate to put in such a blunt manner but it's in your best interest to work toward moving on. You don't deserve to be in such pain and suffering and seeing a therapist can help you tremendously. Please let me know your thoughts and any further questions before deciding to accept as I want to ensure that your question is answered completely and thoroughly.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
thnx a lot 4 ur help i no nobody can help wt such an awful situation i will do as u said thnx a lot i hv 2 help myself only god can help me its hard i never experienced such thing in my life thnx again
Expert:  mindhealer replied 5 years ago.

I can certainly appreciate the pain you are experiencing,,,both professionally as I've seen it in my own clients and even personally. The best thing you can do for yourself at this point would be to strongly consider seeing a therapist to help you through this difficult period in your life.

 

Please let me know if there is anything further I can help you with. If you feel I have answered your question to your satisfaction and to the best of my ability then I would sincerely appreciate your clicking the accept button thereby giving me credit for helping...but only if you feel it's warranted. Thank you for the opportunity to help you and I wish you the very best!

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