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Dr. Rossi
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  PsyD, LPC, CHt
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Have a co-worker that lost her father recently! Me, my boyfriend

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Have a co-worker that lost her father recently! Me, my boyfriend and 2 others signed a card and donated money for her! couple of days ago my boyfriend comes to bring me lunch. we are outside talking, the co-worker comes out to thank him. he hugs her and she jumps up on him with her legs around his waist! i thought it was very disrespectful! discussed this with bf. he says im over reacting because he isnt attracted to her. It really bothers me! how should i handle expressing this to her? am i overreacting?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.

Hi,

 

You are not overreacting. What transpired was disrespectful and as your boyfriend, he should have defined his boundaries better.

 

It is possible that he had made a mistake now knowing how to handle this, if it came out of the blue.

 

You may want to talk to her instead and let her know that it had made you feel uncomfortable, and find out what she has to say. Try not to accuse her when you talk to her as she may be having a nervous breakdown as a result of the death of her father. In some cases distraught individuals can act out irrationally.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I should also let you know that it was out of the blue and unexpected! However my co worker is a very flirty, she do engage in relationships with committed/married men.. we work pretty closely together in a spa and she does go up and above her scope of practice....very unethical girl. so knowing what type of person she is i feel that it was intentional and she wanted to see how far she could go. i was going to give her a pass because she is going through alot but i can't work well with her now cause i feel so disrespected. unaware of the situation another co worker asked me what was wrong cause my whole attitude and demeaner changes everytime this person comes around. i dont really want to ignore this but dont want to cause her to breakdown either. i want to be able to move on so my clients wont suffer. I am a massage therapist and if i am not calm and at ease i cant relax my clients! It is causing me problems doing my work effectively!
Expert:  Dr. Rossi replied 3 years ago.
You are not going to ignore this and it won't be healthy to talk to her when you're still upset. Try to clear your mind and just let her know how her behavior seemed to you. If she has poor boundaries, she may have not thought of actually hurting you by her actions. It is just it- her actions are probably not well though out and she does not think how she would appear to others. You can always give her feedback. It is up to her to take it or ignore it.
Dr. Rossi, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 4627
Experience: PsyD, LPC, CHt
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