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Dr. Bonnie
Dr. Bonnie, Psychologist and RN
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2189
Experience:  35 years experience counseling children and families
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My 9 year old daughter wears the same dress to school every

Resolved Question:

My 9 year old daughter wears the same dress to school every day even if is dirty. I tried to convince her. Nothing seems to help. She doesn’t like change very easily. She neither listens to me nor to her father. How to change her behavior. Please help.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
So everyone else wears a school uniform and she wears a dress (that is different from the uniform)?

How long has this been going on? What is it she likes about this dress?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.



In their school, they have the flexibility of wearing the khaki or navy blue pants with white/green/blue polo shirt. Or you could also wear striped jumper to school. All these days she was wearing white turtle neck and navy blue pant now for last 7 days she is wearing this khaki pant and navy blue shirt. It is always one outfit she is comfortable.

I told her to wear white polo shirt , she says it is loose. This is been going on for 3-4 months.

Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
Thanks for the clarification. I do not have an easy answer. It sounds like she is developing a compulsive behavior (needing to wear the same thing). She should first be examined by her pediatrician to make sure she does not have anything physical that is contributing to this behavior.

Then, she should see a child therapist who can help her to change this habit after finding out what her thoughts are about it. You can ask the pediatrician for a referral to a child therapist.

Compulsive behaviors come from anxiety, so the therapist will help find out what she is anxious about.

Hope this helps and good luck.
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
We did see the child psycologist few weeks ago, he asked us to ignore it.
Expert:  Dr. Bonnie replied 5 years ago.
If the reason for the behavior is to gain attention, then ignoring will work. If it is anxiety, then the anxiety needs to be uncovered and expressed.
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