Thank you for your response. My lawyer is not necessarily hard nosed but extremely well known and respected here and I think she is among the best you can get. She would give me some credibility in front of a judge as well. I am trying to document as much as I can; I have for instance statements from my son that he was forced to lie, keep secrets, told bad things about my fiancee, her family, myself etc etc. It's hard because she is extremely sneaky.. she will not fight if there are other people around, she has called all kind of things in on my company, and if she opens her mouth she lies, but she is so good that people believe her. She is so good that she manages to turn around whatever I can get on her and make me look bad. She will feed people non-stop stories and has basically all day to do so. It's even impossible to keep up defending myself with her.
I am not the vindictive kind, and I guess that is why I am an easy victim for a sociopath. It took me a long time to even find out that she is one; not until recently and after doing a lot of research I almost fell off my chair, because she fits all the definitions as a glove. She has no conscience, guilt, shame, empathy, she wil constantly fight and have power-struggles over everything, she will lie, manipulate, turn things around etc. And of course SHE is always the victim. To be honest, I have had times that I thought it was me who was crazy and at least I am glad that I can basically see and understand what is happening and even sometimes predict what she will be doing.
We went to counselling before the divorce, which for me was a waste, because she was basically trying to feed the counsellor the same type of lies and stories she would feed other people. I do think, to a certain extent the counsellor did see through this though, because she had her go through some psycho therapy. I hav ebeen thinking about contacting this counsellor again.
Talking about dirt, I have some extreme dirt on her, something she once confessed to me and would potentially land her in jail for quite a while, but it would be my word against her word. I am not sure if I would want to go there, it would definitively bring things to a next level.
Besides wanting my life and freedom back, my main concern is my son. He has kind of accepted this situation but would love to have a family life. He absolutely loves my fiancee (he calls her mama, much to the despise of my ex) and she is extremely good with him. He is being put in an impossible position now and mentally abused and brainwashed by my ex. Now even this she tried to turn around; yesterday she tried starting a fight and stated that I was hurting my son.
She started this whole world war 3 thing about my fiancee and me wanted to get together and potentially live 100 miles away. We had worked out a plan in which she would see him the same amount of time, but it was a waste as well. As mentioned I do have him about 75% of the time (a full week and then a half week) and do everything for him; his homework, social events, appointments, etc.. Of course the past months my ex is not only trying to create a track-record, but also trying to distort mine. To give you an example, a few years ago after a soccer game she started a big fight about the fact that his homework was not done. She told me she did not want to do his homework and spend fun time with him. So I have always done his homework, Now I am hearing (via my son!) that she wants to do his homework and that I do not care for her. She has been going to his school, pretending to be interested and complaining about me. She will contact friends and aquintances and feed them stories too.
So hopefully this gives you some more background. From your initial response I can basically understand that you would suggest to document everything (something I am trying to do) and try to dig up more dirt.
The past weeks or so I have done a lot of reading about this subject but it's hard to actually find any solutions. Generally it's "Run Away", but I can't because of my son.
Hope this helps,