Hello- Thank you for asking the question here at JustAnswer. I have read what you have written and am happy to respond.
I am sorry to hear about how you have been feeling and to me it sounds as though you may have some type of attention deficit issue which has resulted in increased anxiety and depression (which is a typical course for un-treated ADD). You also can become obsessive in your thinking.
Take the following self scoring quiz and you will get an immediate result with suggestions on what to do:
If you score in the above 70 range, you will need to see a mental health professional and your GP as the treatment for ADD & ADHD involves medication and cognitive behavioral therapy.
More information here:
I trust that this will help greatly and answers your question.
I wish you the best, Bill
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