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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5220
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology in private practice
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I have reasons to think my husband of 21 years has Schizoid

Customer Question

I have reasons to think my husband of 21 years has Schizoid personality traits .Might this tie in somehow with the fact that he wants total control of every decision to be made in the renovations of a cottage I own? While I appreciate that he is contributing financially to the project , he has on more than one occasion asked me to 'give him my power'.He is a medico who has successfully renovated old Qld's in his spare time and I am the first to acknowledge that he has experience. Only in regard to the choice a particular cabinet maker have I stood my ground. This is at a cost as I feel he is trying to break my spirit-albeit unintentionally.What to do ! Maggie
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 5 years ago.

Hi, Maggie! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.

Maggie, if we decide that schizoid personality disorder is the most apropos description for your husband or if we decide narcissistic personality disorder is the most fitting, will you still be in the same situation?

Is your question that you are becoming unable to handle the difficulties of being with him?

You've managed for 21 years, are you ready to make an ultimatum for him to back off on this project or you will leave?

What other options might you consider?

Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.

Let's go forward from the answers to these questions.

I see you are offline at this time. I may be away from the computer before you respond. If so, would tomorrow (US time) be okay for me to respond?

Dr. Mark

Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Sorry ,no . I want to know if the need for absolute control is typical of the profile of someone with schizoid tendencies.
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 5 years ago.
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Customer: replied 5 years ago.

I do not feel this is a satisfactory answer- too one dimensional. When I initially said I had reason to believe my husband had traits of a Schizoid individual I meant it :often he is emotionally detached and somewhat socially inept and at times oblivious to certain social cues, has an extraordinary intellect yet is always at a loss as to what to write on ,say, a birthday card ---- the list goes on .He has never appeared self-centered or full of grandiose plans.So thanks but no thanks - I shall muddle on .No more advice please.


Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 5 years ago.
That's fine. But Maggie, may I recommend you reread everything you wrote to me and then read how you assumed I might know what you might mean without telling me. So consider that to help you in communicating clearly as it will help with your husband given his problems you've identified. All the best, Dr. Mark