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Doctor Kevin
Doctor Kevin, Ph.D.
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 1482
Experience:  25 years in private practice
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I hope Im placing this in the right section. My situation is very complic

Customer Question

I hope I'm placing this in the right section. My situation is very complicated and although I feel as though I'm making the right decision by leaving the relationship, I still have doubts.
I'm going to sum this up as quickly as I can.
I was once an exotic dancer, meet man there. Had instant chemistry, both went into this without thinking anything serious was going to amount. We feel in love, he did something with a girl that made me angry, (only 2 months in the affair of dating) so I slept with an ex( just because), i told man, he forgave, we feel even deeper in love, we break up, I find another man again, i tell him, we move on, fall deeper in love, slept with another man (just bc, note- he was always away on work but saw him at least twice a week), i kept this one to myself, man starts having to work more, i continue to date second guy i had sex with but never had sex with him again. 2 years down the road, engaged, ( have caught him in alot of white lies thus far) turns out he h
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  mindhealer replied 3 years ago.

Good evening. First allow me to say that I am truly sorry to hear of the difficulty and ambiguity you are facing right now. I have read through your question thoroughly...twice in fact to ensure that I read everything clearly.

 

Based on what you have identified the relationship you have been has been fraught with turmoil, pain, and infidelity throughout it's entire course. It's been truly unhealthy from the start in that you both have consistently worked toward harming each other and then reconciling. The relationship has not been built on trust and honesty and to be perfectly honest with you I see it only growing worse if you stay together and even if you marry one another. Please forgive my abrupt manner in the way in which I have answered your question but I feel this is what you need to hear in order for it to get through.

 

 

Please feel free to ask me any questions that you may have or if you need further clarification on any of the suggestions I've offered.

 

If you feel I've answered your question to your satisfaction I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer and suggestions I've offered you. Thank you for the opportunity to help and I look forward to your response.

 

 

 

Expert:  Doctor Kevin replied 3 years ago.
There is a reason you cant seem to find a resolution to this relationship. I have always been taught that relationships wee not ment to work out but to teach you something, In this case there are basic issues of using sex as a way to control someone or even mixing sexuality and anger.The second unresolved issue is commitment. This relationship brought out the worst in both of you but you remained attracted to each other. You need to examine each part of this relationship and see what you did that later made you satisfied and what you did that only caused more trouble. Try to stay away from him and his actions and reactions since you have no control over changing that. You may find some very interesting reasons why you are still obsessed with man while your relationship with him seems exhausted. I hope this is helpful.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
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