Classic. Everything is your fault. Problems arise only when you point out misbehavior so you shouldn't raise any issues. You are the cause of all of your relationship problems. You are simply supposed to accept him and everything he does and wants, as is, and love it (?).
I suspect your boyfriend's father treated his mom exactly like this. He won't adjust his behavior unless there is a serious crisis. And then, when the crisis is over, he will almost surely revert back to this pattern, and then another crisis will occur. Of course the crisis might be that you tell him you are moving out because you are tired of his behavior; when you were first together and he was wanting you to 'be' with him alone, he was no doubt, attentive, went out of his way to attract you, was complimentary, etc. You can tell him this, "I'm moving out because the relationship and especially, your behavior toward me over the past couple of years is not what I signed on for when I agreed to having a long-term relationship with you. When we were first together, you [be very specific about anything he did
foryour regularly that he is not doing now]; but presently we talk for an average of [X minutes per week]; we have sex [X times per month], and you ask to take me out [X times per month]. I didn't sign on to live with someone who almost simply comes and goes out of our home each day, with little interaction. I didn't sign on to live quiet parallel lives with someone. So I'm going to leave and figure out what I want to do with my life going forward.". Now, your boyfriend will immediately realize that is is highly dependent upon you financially---at least. You could probably find an efficiency apartment or move in with a friend or relative for a period of time and get along quite well economically, without him. Your boyfriend needs to make some rather significant and PERMANENT changes; most guys provide verbal reassurances that they will change, but their behavior doesn't match their words; or some guys will change for a short time but after 2-3 months, they are back to their old habits. I tell you this because this is the issue of 'relapse' you will face if he agrees to try harder. What do you think? What do you want to do? You deserve far better treatment than this from a guy you thought would be a committed partner. But I think any hopes of change will require that you create a serious crisis in the relationship.