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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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I really dont know what to do. I have four sons. One is away

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I really don't know what to do. I have four sons. One is away in college--he is 22 and doing well. I have an 18-year-old who is a senior and doing ok. The sons that have had a lot of problems along the way are my oldest--he is 24, and my third son who is 20. These two have each had a drug problem and been through rehab. Today, my youngest found $80.00 missing from his wallet and both of other sons who are at home deny knowing anything about it. They have both lied to me a lot in the past and I really don't know who to believe or what to do about it.
Hi, Welcome to JA. I am sorry to hear about your situation. Let me ask you a few questions before I offer an answer. Do you think your sons still use drug? Are they open to drug counseling or other treatment?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
I am uncertain about my oldest son. He denies doing anything except his methadone which he gets at a local clinic. However, my third son says that my oldest has used xanax occasionally. (However, they always are telling stories on each other.) My third son has admitted to taking xanax until recently, as well as marijuana, but says he is clean now except for suboxone which he is apparently getting from a friend. He has been wanting me to get an appointment for him with a doctor who prescribes suboxone. Both of these boys have been through a local rehab program which was run by the state and had good results, but this has since been privitized. They were both attending NA after rehab, but are not doing this regularly now. They have not seemed eager to pursue any futher counseling.
Hi, Thanks for your response. I am sorry to hear about your children's condition. It sounds like your 20 year-old and 24 year-old have drug problems. Perhaps, they may also have mood disorder like depression, anxiety and/or Bipolar disorder. It is very common for people with drug and alcohol problems to have mood disorder.

So, your children need to continue treatment to avoid relapse; they may need to work with a drug counselor, a psychological counselor, and his primary care doctor or psychiatrist. Perhaps, drug treatment is a priority for them. They need to start working with their primary care physician and a drug counselor in outpatient or inpatient settings. If they are resistant to ongoing treatment, you may take them to a family counselor or a social worker with you to discuss your concerns and seek help from a professional counselor. They may see a family counselor if you are present.

If they still use drugs, they can work with their primary care physician to detox in a safe manner. A primary care doctor will help them to detox drugs they are using. After that, they may start seeing a drug counselor and/or a psychological counselor (psychotherapist).

If they have health insurance, you or they can call the insurance carrier and find a list of drug counselors and psychotherapists in your area.

They may see their counselor WEEKLY to express/process their feelings and thoughts, get advice and support, and discuss coping for stress to avoid relapse.

You may find a therapist on the Psychology Today website. Go to ( and type your area. Or they may need a more comprehensive outpatient detox program in your area since people with drug problems tend to have clinical depression as well. You may find a facility on the Psychology Today website. Go to ( and review a list of drug treatment facilities in your area.

If they need low cost treatment, you or they may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX to find the drug treatment and/or community mental health centers in your area. They can get drug counseling and mental health counseling without health insurance.
Or you can check out HRSA (U.S.department of Health and Human services)(Website - health centers care for you, even if you have no health insurance. You pay what you can afford, based on your income. Health centers provide health, mental health and substance abuse treatment. Type in your address and click the 'Find Health Centers' button to find health centers near you.

In addition, they will benefit from attending a support group for adults with drug addiction like NA. Free social support recovery groups are available in nearly every community and can used as a supplement to a more comprehensive outpatient treatment. If you like to find a support group for them, check Mental Health America website section ( - Find a group in your area.

If your son is in crisis now, seek help immediately. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24 hour crisis center or dial 911 for immediate assistance. I hope they continue treatment and get ongoing support from a counselor and their doctor to avoid relapse.

Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. P.S. Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion even after you press the accept button; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Warm regards,
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