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Kristin
Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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My 5yr old son seen his father and his fathers girlfriend

Customer Question

My 5yr old son seen his father and his father's girlfriend having sex. The other day i walked in on him with his 4yr old step sister with their pants down. And they said they were humping. What can I do because apparently this isnt the 1st time it happened which we didnt know about until the other day.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your question.

 

I can certainly understand why you would be concerned about this behavior. A bigger concern is that his father is not being more discreet. How do you know that your son saw them having sex and is this something that you feel happened more than once, or was just a mistake. Meaning the father is a good dad and normally very careful, and appropriate when the kids are around? Please provide this info...

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I asked them where they have learned it and my son told me what he had seen. And being that it happened in the grandmothers house in her living room i dont think he was being discret. I have had other issues with his father doing stuff he shouldnt in the presence of my child and he no has supervised visits at his moms. So knowing the kids were there he shouldnt have done it. My son had said him and his step sister have done this before. Do i can my son some type of help??? He is no longer allowed to visit there anymore until know what to do to get my son to realize this isnt right and not normal to do. So how do i go about doing that

Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Okay thank you for the additional information.

 

From what you describe here, his father is completely out of line and being overtly sexual like this and allowing children to witness sexual activity, is a form of child abuse. This is very serious and needs to be addressed immediately. You can have your child see a child psychologist in your area who can assess the child and determine what did take place, etc. I would choose a therapist who is willing to testify in court about this if needed.

You will then need to file a report with your county clerk's office to request supervised visitation and what has happened. Actually, talking with an attorney (many will do a consultation for free) and ask them how to proceed is also needed.

You are absolutely correct in taking care of this and now. Simply reassure your son that he hasn't done anything wrong at all.

 

Then allow the therapist to help him, and do an assessment so that your son can get help and you can also get the evidence/documentation needed to pursue supervised visitation. Here is a list of therapists. Please search by zip code and specialty for children. Please click ACCEPT button for this info, otherwise I'm not credited for my help. Thank you.

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

 

 

Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience: Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
Kristin and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

He already does have supervised visits but as it seems it is not doing any good. I did explain to both children that what was done shall never be repeated and what they see people doing no matter who it is its not always the right thing and should be repeated also. Thank heavens for a very understanding fiance who also said its not his fault he was only repeating what his father has done. I just hope to resolve it with out causing any more added drama to either child.

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
and what kind of psycologist or therapist would i take him to for him to be evaluated ?
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

I see, okay maybe the supervisor should be someone other than the grandmother.

You should take him to a child psychologist or child therapist. You can look at that link I sent you above for a listing of them in your area. Thank you and best wishes.

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Kristin
Kristin
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Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!