Hello and thank you for your question.
What a sad story. Do you see any evidence at all of mental health issues with this child? Was this mother and father loving to the child, before the newborn had arrived?
It sounds like your daughter still has contact with the young girl, is that still happening?
Thanks for the additional information.
Would you be willing to adopt her?
Okay thanks for the info. No, you are not selfish at all, quite the opposite! You have cared in many meaningful ways to children over the years. That is what is important.
I only asked b/c if you were willing, then you could perhaps speak to someone about that possibility. Otherwise, I think that the mutual friend is a good idea with you to offer to help as well, when needed etc. Also, it may be more difficult than one thinks for this mother to just send this girl back to South Africa, after all of these years. I would think that the potential psychological harm this could cause for the young girl would be a factor and could be raised if needed.
Maybe if these parents felt the girl could stay with this mutual friend and they didn't have to continue to be involved with her, that would make them more likely to say yes. There is no easy answer here, when dealing with parents who are this selfish. If they are going to try to send her back due to saying she is a threat to the baby, that will need to be proven with evidence, etc.
I would encourage you to call this organization and ask them how to proceed with this issue and what can be done, etc. to keep this girl here and with someone who truly loves and has her best interest at heart. Please click ACCEPT button for this information, otherwise I'm not credited for my help today. Feel free to continue to discuss this with me if needed, even after clicking ACCEPT, Thank you!