How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kristin Your Own Question

Kristin
Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
45544450
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kristin is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Ok so I have 3 kids ages 11,9,6 there dad is headed to prison

Resolved Question:

Ok so I have 3 kids ages 11,9,6 there dad is headed to prison tommrrow last week he broke into my home and stole my kids things I did get it back after his mom paid to get it out of the pawn shop they know he took it my question is this should I allow them to say good bye to him
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Hello and thank you for your question.

 

Obviously you are going through a great deal of turmoil and difficulty with this man.

Why is he going to prison and how long will he be there? Also, have they had an ongoing relationship with their Dad?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
at least 10 yrs he is going for burglary of a habitat they have a off and on relationship nothing constant
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.
Is he in jail right now then? If they said goodbye to him, where would that take place?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No he is out he was in jail since oct got out in last week of dec on bond his father past away so his mom bonded him out he went to trail pled gulity they had to do a pre sentencing investagtion so they assisgned him a probation offcier he reports to her tommrrow and his mom believes he will be going back to jail then so it would be at his moms house. I will not be taking them to see him and still I am unsure about even letters
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.
Do you feel that they would be safe in his presence? Is there any concern at all that he is a danger to them? He has made, obviously some very bad decisions in the past, criminal, etc. And do the kids want to see him, to say goodbye?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Yes I feel completely safe yes the 9 year old I know does she has voiced this to me the 6 yr old I think could care less I just am afraid that it just will not be a good bye but also a "I am sry I took your stuff this is why" and make it ok when there is no reason in this world where that is ok to me and I dont know if I want them to be ok with it either not sure if that is even the right thing to think
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Okay, thank you for the information. The main concern is their physical safety, and as you have no worries about that, then yes I would let them say goodbye to him. Especially, when the 9 year old has voiced that she would like that. If one of them does not want to go, I would not force them to do so. It they are neutral, then they could go.

Tell their Dad's mother that the goodbye needs to be light and positive. No heavy stuff can be put onto these children. Daddy can say he is sorry that he took their stuff, that there is no excuse for it, and Daddy is sorry. That it's Daddy's problem that he has to work through, and that they have done nothing wrong at all! That is all that needs to be said about that.

And then, allow the kids to ask Dad any questions they may have, etc. Dad needs to be strong and positive and make these kids feel reassured that he will be okay, and that they will be okay too. Be sure he doesn't say anything to them, like "you need to take care of your mom now" or anything that puts undue pressure on them. They are children who deserve to be just kids, without major worries.

So, yes if they are safe AND Dad can handle himself rationally then it should be okay. I would keep the visit relatively brief. It's important that their time with him ends on a good and strong, reassuring note for them... So, do talk to Dad or his mother about guidelines for this visit. If you feel that it's going to be awful, with no guidelines in place, and anything could be said, etc. than I would simply have them say goodbye to him over the phone, where you would have much greater control over the situation. Please click ACCEPT button, so I'm credited for this answer. I wish you the best. Thank you,

Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience: Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
Kristin and 4 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Also, if you have any more questions for me, please do feel free to ask me now.

 

If not, please do click on green ACCEPT button, otherwise I'm not credited for my help today. Thank you.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education