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Kristin
Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience:  Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
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my girlfriend and I had lunch out and I looked at my phne 2x

Resolved Question:

my girlfriend and I had lunch out and I looked at my phne 2x , she got upset asked I was boring her......wont return my calls now , what to do how long b4 she calls back?? weve been seeing ea other almost 7 mos.....she is a widow
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

It seems a bit extreme that she would not return your calls just for looking at your phone a couple of times. Is there more going on perhaps? Has this happened before, where she feels like you are distracted or inattentive while in her presence?

How would you say your relationship has been going with her overall?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
No give her undivided attention ,,,,,she was grieving for a while I listened everything ,carefully ......treat her the best I can Love her very much...never told her though too soon . This happened once before at a comedy place , but dark in there in crowd, just checkd.....never talked or made call. I thought relationship goin well were very close last sat cuddling ect...
Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

okay thank you for the additional information.

 

I would say then, that her behavior is rather extreme for the situation. When someone's reaction is bigger than the actual situation, than it's about something else typically.

I would not continue to apologize, (only once) for this, and then give her some space.

It is not productive on her part, to simply ignore your calls and not communicate about this (rather minor) incident. If it was a pattern of behavior that would be different. But you said that you are very attentive typically...

You can contact her once more and simply say that you are more than willing and open to talk with her about anything that is bothering her, including what happened with the phone. Let her know that without communication, you cannot know what she is thinking or feeling, and that this leaves you in the dark as to finding a solution.

Then do NOT contact her again...unless she reaches out to you of course. Give her some space and time, and she will very likely contact you shortly.

But, if she continues to do this disappearing act, when she is bothered by something, you will need to talk about how this is not appropriate nor constructive. Please click green ACCEPT button for this info. Thank you.

Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

Do you have any more questions for me around this? If so please do ask... I want to be sure you are satisfied with your answer.

If you don't, then please do remember to click on ACCEPT button, otherwise I'm not credited for my help. Warm regards,

Kristin

Customer: replied 3 years ago.

If she doesnt answer should I leave the advice you gave me on her voice mail.........was gonna send flowers , but did cpl mos ago for minor thing.......non related and she forgave.......How long do ya think before she may call???? Since the lunch calld her that wed nite, thur mornin , and Friday but not today Sat......should wait for Sun or do today(she sleeps 3-4pm works nites)

 

Thankyou sooo much

Expert:  Kristin replied 3 years ago.

I would call her tomorrow and if she doesn't answer leave it on her voicemail, in a tone that is calm and self-assured. Or write her an email, either way.

Today, I wouldn't call her again... I don't know if I would send flowers because it seems over the top on her part, to behave this way. And you don't want to encourage that behavior by rewarding her. But that is your decision. I would not call today. And call tomorrow, leave that message. Then, I would not contact her again. My guess is that she would call you within a few days from tomorrow... Please click ACCEPT button and feel free to let me know how it goes... Thank you.

Kristin, Mental Health Professional
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 453
Experience: Licensed Mental Health Counselor. 11+ years specialist in mental health. Expertise and insight!
Kristin and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

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