Okay thank you for the additional information. Of course if it was a regular occurrence that would be a very big issue, and it's true that this is a special event. That being said, it's kind of an outdated way to celebrate at such parties, out of respect for the women in the men's lives, etc. But, if the groomsmen insist then I can see how your husband also feels trapped in the middle, and as best man would not want to tell the others what they can and cannot do. By the way, your feelings are more important than what the groomsmen think...
That being said, one option is that your husband could partake in the rafting during the day, etc. and then come back home, and NOT attend the strip club. This is where you both need to decide how to reach a solution where you are both comfortable. The options are he:
1.doesn't go at all.
2.talks to the other men about doing things that don't offend the wives.
3.partakes in some of the activities (but not the strip club).
4.does go to the strip club.
Those are the options.... he could also just stay in the cabin that night, and not go to the strip club, etc. You need to be honest with him how much it bothers you, that you feel it's disrespectful, the two of you discuss the options and then reach a compromise. But, yes your feelings are completely valid and reasonable. Please click ACCEPT button for this answer. Thank you.
Edited by Kristin on 2/24/2011 at 5:31 PM EST