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TherapistMarryAnn
TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5804
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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How do you get over losing a mother you saw everyday talked

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How do you get over losing a mother you saw everyday talked to at least 3 or 4 times a day . Have your grandson have to go back and stay with his mother after he had lived with you for 5 years just because father said he had to . Then you lose a father inlaw the day before your daughter's 18th birthday . This all started July 2009 .On August 28 ,2009 my daughter's best friend was diagnosed with neuroncrodine sarcinoma we had to watch her die , she was 17 . She spent some of the weekends at my home because her parents were separated and didn't get along . She died February 11 th 2010 . So where would you suggest this family of mine start ?

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

I am sorry to hear about all the losses you have experienced. It sounds like you are grieving, and rightly so.

 

You have had a lot of losses in a very short period of time. Usually, one loss will cause a person to go through the grief process. Some people go through some of the stages, some go through all of the stages, and some get stuck in certain stages.

 

But for you, there has not been the opportunity to work through your grief before you were dealing with another loss. This can cause you to have a lot of emotional issues to deal with. Your mind has to cope with the losses somehow, and from what you said, you are starting to feel the effects of not having the chance to work through the grief.

 

As a result, you can experience a range of emotions that may feel overwhelming. Some of the feelings you may be experiencing are anger, sadness, guilt and shock. All your feelings are completely normal.

 

The stages of grief are:

 

Denial: This isn't happening

Anger: I can't believe this is happening to me. Why?

Bargaining: If I do this, then that will not happen.

Depression: This is all too much and I can't deal with it.


Acceptance: Everything will be ok

 

You may find yourself in some of these stages or one of them. What is important here is that you have help and support to get through this. Find a counselor that you can talk to who can help support you and help you through how you feel. Try asking your doctor for a referral or if you attend church, ask your pastor. Churches also sometimes have grief support groups or other counseling available to help . You can also search on line at http://www.find-a-therapist.com/.

 

Although medication can help in the short term, it is not an answer to solving your feelings and getting joy back into your life. Medications should be balanced with therapy to help you recover. If your psychiatrist is not helping, try to find another one. You can search on line at http://www.find-a-psychiatrist.com/.

 

Here are some books that may help you as well. One is On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler. Another one is When there Are No Words: Finding Your Way to Cope with Loss and Grief by Charlie Walton. You can find these on Amazon.com or your local library may have them available.

 

I hope this has helped you,
Kate

 

 

TherapistMarryAnn and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you