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David Akiva
David Akiva, BA, MA,
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 167
Experience:  Counselor; Behavioral Consultant
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My children were court ordered to counseling with their father

Customer Question

My children were court ordered to counseling with their father because their father after over 9 years decided to come back into their lives again. I have 5 children but only 3 are affected because of their ages. My older 2 boys want nothing to do with their father at this time (ages 18 & 20). The younger 3 are 16, 13, and 11. As you can see the younger 2 especially dont even remember him. (childrens ages when he walked away were 10, 8,6,3 1/2 and 2) I went back to this psychiatrist that the children had seen 9 years ago thinking they might remember going to her. I later found out through my older 3 boys they never really liked her but never told me this. She has now been also counseling or having sessions with my Ex husband too. They had only 3 sessions together. We had to go back into court to see how progress was going in September 2010, I asked the psychiatrist if she could write me a report for the court on the children's progress for court. When I picked it up all I received was a couple of paragraphs stating that the children need to keep coming to counseling. I was very disappointed. A couple of months later we were back into court again and this time the Ex had asked for a report on his progress during the sessions and she was able to write him a 3 page glowing report. I made an appointment with her to discuss this matter and was coached by another dr to make sure not to question her expertise but to just keep saying things like I was confused. So that is what I did. I told her that I was very confused and wondered what I did wrong because I asked her for a report on my childrens progress and all I got was a couple paragraphs that stated that the kids need to keep coming to counseling, but when my Ex asked her for a report he received a 3 page report? The dr kept trying to back track saying she had only seen the kids 3 times and was really unable to write such a report. I told her well you only seen their father 3 times and were able to write one for him. Then she said I cant write a report about you, I told her I didnt request one on me that I wanted one on the 3 children's progress like she gave for the father. I think she realized then she was caught and kept trying to put the blame on me saying she cant write a report on me. I never once yelled or raised my voice with her. She then stopped writing put her tablet down and told me that she was getting "shit" from both sides that my Ex called her yelling and I was upset with her. At that point I realized she had lost control of the therapy all together. I told her that my children did not want to come back to her that they didnt feel comfortable during the sessions and I didn't know if I could get them to come back to her for therapy. One of the things my children told me they didn't like was how the dr allowed their father to ask inappropriate questions like how much they weighed (especially to a preteen girl!) who was appaulled and didn't answer so the dr answered for her to her father and guessed some 15-20 lbs over what she really weighed. She came out of the session just crying! Anyways I ended up finding another therapist that the children really like and are very comfortable with. Again we ended up in court and this time the psychiatrist wrote a 7 page!! report just blasting me throughout with all false information!! When I asked for my children's medical records, none of this information was on these notes. It was obvious to me that my Ex fed her with information to write for court! She wrote in the report that I was screaming at her and that I had "covert actions". What can I do against this? I am extremely upset because since she is a dr the referee believed her report looking at me saying so you are saying this report is wrong? I told him yes and he rolled his eyes. It was obvious by that report she was very supportive of my EX and upset with me because I had attained another therapist for my children. Can you advise me of some different things I can do?
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  David Akiva replied 5 years ago.

ThunderKeys :

I have quite a bit of experience working with families providing counseling and the with the court systems. I'd like to provide you with a strong answer here. You've written a lot of excellent detailed information in you’re question.

In order to best provide you with an answer, I need to have a fairly precise question. What is the most important question you need answered right now, given these incredible challenges you're facing with family counseling an the psychiatrist you’ve been “working” with?

ThunderKeys :

I’ll be checking frequently for your response. Hope to hear from you soon…

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