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Well, after reading the details mentioned in your post , i will have to agree with you , it does seem like your husband was having an emotional level , in other words one can say a relationship on a plutonic level , which means only emotions and feels are involved in such an affair ...
Well , it is quite justified for you to feel hurt and emotionally drained due to this ... also more because he does not admit that he was having more than good camaradarie with the female , possibly because he is scared that he might loose you and is deeply embarrassed and regretful about the whole thing..
But , i am sure that until and unless this matter / issue is not adressed properly , this will keep on lingering on in your mind and making your life insecure and miserable ..
So, in my opinion , it is about time for you to put this inner turmoil to rest and ask your husband that heshould accompany you to a relatioship expert to seek couple's therapy / counseling to sort out some issues , mainly regarding this woman's presence in his life , and to talk out a way with the help of a therapist to reach a platform where you as well him are comfortable with this inicident and fially accept that whatever it was , it is finally over and this thing shall never happen again.
You need to talk to your husband and need to be persistent for seeking couple's therapy , because there are some doubts which are serious enough in your mind , which will keep on distressing you until yor husband admits to something that we expect him he did ...that is regarding having a plutonic relationship with this female..
While you convince your husband for the therapy , but at the same time , make sure that you do not stifle him and pressurize him to prove to you that he is innocent , just let the therapist take the lead in your case , as a therapist will know how to press the right buttons so as to make your husband open up about this possible affair and basically the intention here is not put a strain in your otherwise nice relationship , but to make it more stronger than ever before , with both of you being able to trust each other ...
I hope this helps..
So, kindly do as mentioned above ..
Wish you all the best...
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