How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH Your Ow...

Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience:  Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Type Your Mental Health Question Here...
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

My fiance has difficulty having an orgasm via my vagina, mouth

Customer Question

My fiance has difficulty having an orgasm via my vagina, mouth or hand. He masturbates regularly and can do so in front of me and he has no problems reach climax. Most of the time when he enters my vagina, he will get soft. It is to the point where we are both avoiding sex in order to not have this awkward experience. I am a VERY sexually open woman and have tried many things with him, including role playing, erotic stories, fantasy sharing, etc. It has been ruled out that he does not have ED or any health problems (he is 42 and had a full physical recently). I believe our next step is sexual therapy. Do you have any suggestions on what we can do or what the issue may be?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Karyn Jones replied 3 years ago.
Hello my name is XXXXX XXXXX you for bringing your concerns to Just Answer..with regards XXXXX XXXXX most stressful and frustrating time for you both..and I feel for you in this..
I agree and note that you have both tried much to work this out..and would suspect that your finance has some sort of subconscious 'block' with regards XXXXX XXXXX during intercourse ...a therapist trained in the treatment of sex therapy I would definitely recommend, before it places any further undue stress on your relationship ...to find out the source of this 'block' and the underlaying feelings that may go with that.
Very best wishes
Kind regards
Karyn J(ProfClinical DipCounBMin)
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Relist: Answer quality.
Expert:  Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH replied 3 years ago.
Hello,
I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I would like to concur with Karyn Jones. With these situations it is best to seek the services of a certified sex therapist. There is no way to diagnose his problem in this forum because we would need to collect a complete psychosocial history of his life. Ruling out such things as childhood sexual abuse or other trauma's in his life that could be contributing to his problem.

My only thought from the information provided here is the statement " I am a VERY sexually open woman and have tried many things with him". I'm wondering if perhaps this is too aggressive for him or intimidating? Perhaps he's having performance anxiety due to your openness? This would be the only assumption I can make from the information provided.

With all of that said, it sounds like you have tried everything possible to solve this problem without clinical intervention.
Here is a list of certified sex therapists http://www.sstarnet.org/directory.cfm

Additionally, he may consider hypnotherapy for this problem. Hypnosis can bypass the critical factor of the conscious brain and eliminate whatever this 'block' is.

I hope this answer helps. Please feel free to ask for clarification or for more information about this answer.

All the best,

Kym

*Please click accept if you found this answer helpful.
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 251
Experience: Over 15 years of experience as a substance abuse therapist. I am a Licensed Clinical Social Worker
Kym Tolson, LCSW, CSAC, NBCCH and other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
< Last | Next >
  • I can go as far as to say it could have resulted in saving my sons life and our entire family now knows what bipolar is and how to assist and understand my most wonderful son, brother and friend to all who loves him dearly. Thank you very much Corrie Moll Pretoria, South Africa
  • I thank-you so much! It really helped to have this information and confirmation. We will watch her carefully and get her in for the examination and US right away if things do not improve. God bless you as well! Claudia Albuquerque, NM
  • Outstanding response time less than 6 minutes. Answered the question professionally and with a great deal of compassion. Kevin Beaverton, OR
  • Suggested diagnosis was what I hoped and will take this info to my doctor's appointment next week.
    I feel better already! Thank you.
    Elanor Tracy, CA
  • Thank you to the Physician who answered my question today. The answer was far more informative than what I got from the Physicians I saw in person for my problem. Julie Lockesburg, AR
  • You have been more help than you know. I seriously don't know what my sisters situation would be today if you had not gone above and beyond just answering my questions. John and Stefanie Tucson, AZ
  • I have been dealing with an extremely serious health crisis for over three years, and one your physicians asked me more questions, gave me more answers and encouragement than a dozen different doctors who have been treating me!! Janet V Phoenix, AZ
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/Dr.Keane/2013-8-20_204325_drkeane.64x64.jpg Dr. Keane's Avatar

    Dr. Keane

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1262
    Clinical Psychology PhD, Licensed Professional Counselor with experience in marriage/family, teens and child psychology.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    5024
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC's Avatar

    Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    3733
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DR/DrAkiraOlsen/2012-2-20_746_AkiraADpicmain.64x64.jpg Dr. Olsen's Avatar

    Dr. Olsen

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2336
    PsyD Psychologist
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/norriem/2009-5-27_134249_nm.jpg Norman M.'s Avatar

    Norman M.

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2193
    UK trained in hypnotherapy, counselling and psychotherapy and have been in private practice. ADHP(NC), DEHP(NC), UKCP Registered and ECP.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/PsychologyProf/2010-07-15_171248_logos060400409.jpg Dr. Michael's Avatar

    Dr. Michael

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    2177
    Licensed Ph.D. Clinical Health Psychology with 30 years of experience in private practive and as a clinical psychology university professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/KURTEMMERLING/2010-07-23_215531_just_ask_picture1.jpg Steven Olsen's Avatar

    Steven Olsen

    Therapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1727
    More than twenty years of expertise in counseling, psychological diagnosis and education