Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
I am sorry to hear about your dogs. Losing a pet is like losing a family member. It can be very hard to deal with such a loss. And when a pet is sick, it can be hard to know how to help them.
From what you said, I suspect that you are still mourning over the loss of your first dog. Oftentimes, people do not realize that losing a pet can cause mourning just like when you lose someone in your family. With such losses, people go through the stages of grief. Sometimes you can resolve the grief after a period of time, and sometimes you can get stuck in a stage of grief. With your dog becoming ill so soon after the death of your first dog, it may be that you did not have a chance to complete your grief process and now are anxious as a result.
The anxiety is most likely because your grief is still fresh in your mind. No one wants to experience grief but having both a death and an illness come so close together makes the pain and loss double and does not allow you time to heal. The fear of experiencing the grief so soon can make you feel anxious, on edge and irritable.
First, do not hold your feelings in. Talk to supportive friends, family or other people in your life. No feeling is off limits and the more you express how you feel, the faster you will recover.
If you cannot find anyone to talk with, try asking your vet for a referral to a pet loss grief counselor or for a support group. As people begin to understand the pain of losing a pet, more and more counselors and groups are available.
Talk about your dog and express the pain of helping and caring for your ill pet. Make an album of pictures, share times you enjoyed with them, write out or share funny stories of things they did, whatever you can think of that tells the story of what you shared with them. It helps to remember good times, even if your pet is still here with you.
Remember, you gave your first dog and are still giving your current dog much love, care and a safe and happy home. Many dogs do not have such a loving place to live their lives. Your pets were and are happy and well cared for. You did the best for them and still care very much.
If there is anyone who can help you care for your sick pet, ask for their help. Even if it's just a night or two, the extra rest and down time can help you get a better handle on your feelings.
Here are some books that may help you. One is called The Loss of a Pet by Wallace Sife. Another is Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss: Personal and Professional Insights on the Animal Lover's Unique Grieving Process by Sid Korpi.
I hope this has helped you,