Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
I understand that you are upset by these memories. It can be very traumatizing to remember abuse that happened when you were a child, especially if it has been repressed for so long.
Did you have a chance to tell your therapist what is happening with you? If you can, contact him/her again and if you don't get them, leave a message and see if they can fit you in to their schedule for session soon.
For right now, try to stay as calm as you can. You are dealing with two very stressful situations. Take some deep breaths. Remember that you will be ok. You have already survived what happened to you and these are only the memories. You may feel upset recalling them, but you are strong enough to deal with them. You are a survivor and that is the most important thing to remember.
Is there a supportive friend or family member you can talk to? You need to have support right now until you have a chance to process your thoughts and feelings. Consider taking a little time tonight to calm yourself. Have a cup of tea. Take a bath. Anything that soothes you.
Have your husband come with you to therapy when you and your counselor feel it is appropriate. He may gain a better understanding what you are going through if your counselor can guide him through what you are working on. Your counselor can also give him ideas of how to support you as you go through therapy and deal with your past trauma.
I hope this has helped you,Kate
my husband has tried to understand but is a addict and it makes things 100 percent worse
Then I would talk with your counselor about whether or not you need marital counseling. Although you can get through this without your husband's support, it helps enormously to have him with you. It also adds a lot of stress to your recovery if you are trying to cope with his problems as well as yours. If he makes it too difficult on you, you may want to consider a separation until you feel stronger and feel you can take on his issues as well. Make sure you talk with your counselor and any other supportive people in your life before you decide.