Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.
It seems from what you said that you have good insight into your problem. This is a great first step. Insight and acknowledging a problem is half the battle. The other half is dealing with the behavior. You need to learn to cope with your eating disorder by learning who you are beyond the disorder and trusting and loving yourself again.
You have lots of options to help you. You can seek out a therapist to help you. Talking to a therapist can help you gain more insight into why you have this behavior. Oftentimes, that is an important part to stopping the behavior. You can find a therapist by asking your doctor for a referral or if you attend church, talk with your pastor. You can also search on line at http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/. The therapist can do an evaluation, determine your treatment needs and help you develop a plan to deal with your eating disorder.
You can also search for a group for eating disorders. The support you can gain from talking with others about what you are going through can help you feel less alone. It can also help you by hearing what other people do to help themselves. Here is a helpful link: http://psychcentral.com/resources/Eating_Disorders/Support_Groups/.
Talk with your doctor about medication that is appropriate for your depression and OCD. There are medications that can help take the edge off so you can deal with the eating disorder. You can also see a psychiatrist for medication as well. Your therapist, once they do an evaluation, can refer you if needed.
There are also some books that can help you get started. One is called The Eating Disorders Sourcebook: A Comprehensive Guide to the Causes, Treatments, and Prevention of Eating Disorders (Sourcebooks) by Carolyn Costin. Another is Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too by Jenni Schaefer and Thom Rutledge. You can find these on Amazon.com or your local library may have them available.
I hope this has helped you,Kate
I understand. Thanks for the additional information.
You cannot just stop the laxative addiction on your own. This is something that must be done carefully with a physician's supervision. You are talking about a physical reaction that occurs when you take a drug. As with any drug that is being abused, a doctor must oversee withdrawal. Also, you must have blood testing done and your electrolytes monitored to be sure you come off of the laxatives safely.
Please contact your doctor and let them know that you are wanting to detox from laxative abuse. They can best guide you through the process. Then you can follow through with a therapist to help you address the addiction and your other symptoms so you can recover and not relapse.
I understand. I am sorry about your experience with the doctors you have gone to. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to find a good doctor who will listen and work with you. I have had the same experience myself.
Try asking around for suggestions. You can even contact your local hospital and sometimes a nurse or another worker will tell you who the good doctors are in your area. Friends, family or co workers are great sources too. I found my doctor through a neighbor and her husband, so you never know who may know of that one doctor who can help.
You are very welcome! I hope it all works out for you.