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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I lost my dear father one year ago and now I have only my

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I lost my dear father one year ago and now I have only my mother 89 years old sick with Dementsiya living in my house with a caregiver 24 houres regularily. However her health situation obliges me to be with her 12 houres a day as the caregiver cannot manage alone.My mother makes serious difficulties for eating and drinking.
Every day I feel more and more tired I lost weight cannot sleep enough and I am in stress regularily. As I have no family I am the only one who takes care of her.
On the other hand I love her very much and I do not wish to put her in a special care place for old people as she willnot survive there. But in my house continue in such a high stress I will not survive. I am 55 years old. What advice can you give me please?

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


It sounds like you are suffering from caregivers stress. It is very common nowadays with so many people caring for elderly parents.


You can help yourself cope with caring for your mother. First, understand that you are doing the best you can. You cannot be perfect, the house cannot be perfect and your situation is extremely stressful. Be easy on yourself.


Accept any help that is offered, even if it is just for a couple of hours. You need any break you can get. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging to see if they have staff available to be with your mother so you can take a break. Sometimes they can offer other services as well.


If Meals on Wheels is available in your area, sign your mother up for it. They can provide meals and alleviate some of the stress on you.


Join a support group for those caring for elderly parents. Contact your local community mental health agency for referrals.


Consider respite care. It is only for a short while and can give you a much needed break. You are a better caregiver if you are not exhausted and stressed. Try local adult day care centers, hospital programs, and in home respite.


Remember that you are not alone. There are many people in the same situation. Talk to others about your situation. You may find co workers and friends in the same situation and you will have someone to share your experience with.


Some books that may help you include How to Care for Aging Parents (Morris, How to Care for Aging) by XXXXX XXXXX and Robert M. Butler, You and Your Aging Parent: A Family Guide to Emotional, Social, Health, and Financial Problems by Barbara Silverstone and Helen Kandel Hyman and When the Time Comes: Families with Aging Parents Share Their Struggles and Solutions by Paula Span. These are available on or your local library may have them available.


I hope this has helped you,

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