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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5470
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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i was raped by my uncle for about two years starting from 5

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i was raped by my uncle for about two years starting from when i was 5 yrs old. all the family of my dad didnt believe me, they called me crazy. i have always being on the ground with my self-steem and my thoughts. my dad verbally abused us and sometimes phisically  to my mom and siblings. i grew up thinking nothing of myself, like the worst person in the world. over the years i have been building myself up. now i have a better thought of myself, at least i think im pretty now. i got married to my husband who seemed to be the best thing that happened to me in the world. he hasnt be honest with me because he doesnt look at me in a desirable way and he looks at other women with desire but i dont understand that behavior, its nothing like him. i confronted him about it and he admited it. i often think its my fault but when i think about it it doesnt make sence that it is my fault. my parents are not that supportive. i've been so down i've been carrying so many things over the years and i often feel the need to kill myse lf. my husbands parents hate me and do everything to put his family against me. i'm really agressive, have trouble sleeping, cant concentrate, the need to hurt the ones that hurt me, i'm depressed all the time, i forget things, i cant do simple tasks and cant keep up with life. nothing at all makes me happy and i shop a lot in stores to fulfill the need of hapiness. im frustrated all the time and i have trouble talking( i mumble a lot) i often find myself staring at something without realizing i wasnt there- its like i get disconected from what im doing into something im thinking. like often zoomed out. i feel im going crazy that at any moment i might lose it or kill myself. i need help. i cant live like this. not knowing what its wrong with me, why i feel this way. and the funniest part about it that im that way but often hide it by treating people nice, being calm, and patient but its like im living a double life. like i'm not living my life, as if i saw someone else play the role of me and i'm sitting watching my life just like a theater.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It sounds like you have experienced significant trauma between your uncle and your parents abuse towards you. You may be experiencing post traumatic stress as well as depression.

 

First, if you feel suicidal at any time, please get to your local ER as soon as possible. It is important to get help immediately. You can get an evaluation and if needed, medication and treatment right away.

 

I agree with you, talking with a therapist is very important. You need the support as well as treatment for all of the trauma you experienced. A therapist can do a complete evaluation and determine what diagnosis you may have as well as offer appropriate treatment. You can ask your doctor for a referral, or if you attend church, your pastor could help you. You can also search on line at www.findatherapist.com. Your therapist can also refer you to a psychiatrist if you feel medications are necessary to help manage your symptoms.

 

There are also books that can help you get started with healing. One is called The Sexual Healing Journey: A Guide for Survivors of Sexual Abuse (Revised Edition) by Wendy Maltz. Another is The Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual Abuse by Dan B Allender Ph.D. and Dan B. Allender. Also, Adult Children of Abusive Parents: A Healing Program for Those Who Have Been Physically, Sexually, or Emotionally Abused by Steven Farmer is an excellent book for survivors.

 

Do you have anyone you can talk with? A trusted family member or a friend? Building support for yourself is very important. It gives you someone to talk to as well as someone to be there in case you feel bad. If you do not have anyone, try a support group for abuse survivors. It can be very therapeutic to have others you can talk to who understand what you have been through. Here is a site to help you find a support group- http://www.ascasupport.org/.

 

Try to take care of yourself the best you can. You deserve to feel at peace and sometimes as an abuse survivor, that is hard to find. Treat yourself well. Find things you enjoy and do them often. You may not feel like doing this at first, but if you take the first step, sometimes you find that the benefits are great and you can feel better.

 

I hope this helped you,
Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5470
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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