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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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Ive been 100% straight my entire life. Im 20 yrs old. Ive

Resolved Question:

I've been 100% straight my entire life. I'm 20 yrs old. Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 yrs and I have gone through a bad spell of guilt, anxiety, and depression. All this stemming from guilt for times I've flirted with girls, deleted texts from girls, etc. I felt so bad and confessed a lot to her and we are completely fine now stronger than ever. But this guilt led to feelin bad about even looking at other girls. Is it possible that this could ultimately lead to me changing to being gay or bi? I'm so afraid of this I have such bad OCD about it ever since I thought of it and I always have unwanted thoughts now about it like sexual thoughts with guys. I've always been completely straight and right now I can't even tell how I feel its killing me. Is it possible at all for this chemical imbalance and months of guilt to change my sexual orientation?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

No I do not believe that guilt over your activities with other girls outside of your relationship can cause you to become homosexual. What you are feeling is related to your OCD and is not related to your sexual orientation, or it is simply about your feelings of guilt.

 

Have you seen a therapist who diagnosed you with OCD? You may want to see a therapist for an evaluation if you have not seen one already. Sometimes our thoughts can be distressing, especially when it comes to feelings like guilt, but if you feel there is more to your symptoms than just bad thoughts, then a therapist can help you work with how you feel and help you develop better ways to cope. You also can consider medication if needed.

 

Please let me know if you have any more questions.

 

I hope this has helped you,

Kate

 

 

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I agree but I just can't get the thoughts out of my head sometimes they always come back. I felt overwhelming guilt for months straight. I was afraid that it could cause the switch. Is it possible in general for chemical imbalance in the brain to turn you from straight to gay? And no I haven't been to.a therapist but I constantly deal with unwanted thoughts like these or violent ones or whatever it may be that just isn't me and not urges just thoughts. I assumed its OCD. But I just want to know that it is not possible to change from 100% straight to gay. It would help if I knew it wasn't possible.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

No, it is not possible to have a sudden chemical imbalance that makes you change your sexual orientation. Chemical imbalances often cause other symptoms in your body that are physical in nature. Scientists suspect that chemical imbalances are also involved in causing mental illnesses such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. If you feel you may have a chemical imbalance, you can always be seen by an endocrinologist for a full work up.

 

Unwanted thoughts such as yours can be a symptom of OCD. They can also be a symptom of anxiety. If you chose to see a therapist, they can help you rule out these disorders.

 

Kate

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Okay I probably will in the near future. But maybe not a chemical imbalance, but I just feel like my mind has been beating itself up for so long now and felt so guilty, with the guilt being associated to attraction to girls, because of my girlfriend. This is why I'm afraid it could have led me to be relieved by changing sexual preference but I can't tell how I feel really. I know its because of anxiety and maybe OCD but if I know this isn't possible it will help. But the thing that makes me most scared is that gay sexual thoughts in my head in the past would make me gag and get so grossed out. But now I can't tell if I would take part in it or at least it doesn't gross me out as much. I also had a dream that included two male friends having sex and I was disgusted in my dream but jokingly touched my friends penis as a joke and he ejaculated and I was disgusted but now am worried about it. Does this dream have any meaning? Does my change in feelings on gay sexual thoughts mean anything? Or is it all part of the anxiety or OCD or whatever I have going on. Also, when I had that dream, I was on medication for heartburn that can cause nightmares and I was fairly intoxicated as well I think. Please help...last questions.
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.

I understand your anxiety about your thoughts and dreams. But the fact that they are making you anxious says that they are not welcome thoughts and therefore not about who you are but more about your anxiety or OCD.

 

If these thoughts are disrupting your daily life, it would be a good idea to see a therapist sooner than later. You could also start working on this problem yourself by reading about your problem. Some good books to start with are Overcoming Obsessive Thoughts: How to Gain Control of Your OCD by Christine, Ph.D. Purdon and David A. Clark and Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey M. Schwartz and Beverly Beyette. You can find these on Amazon.com or your local library may have them available.

 

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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