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TherapistMarryAnn, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
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Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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My sister is hosting a baby shower for a young girl whom she let move in with her and my 1

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My sister is hosting a baby shower for a young girl whom she let move in with her and my 19 yr old nephew last summer. This girl, who is out of high school, became pregnant with my nephews child. In the mean time this nephew has been arrested for statutory rape of a different girl and is out on bond waiting for his sentencing hearing. His court date is scheduled for sometime in February this year. Though I have never said this to her, I feel she should have been protecting this girl from her son but I think she truly believes that my nephew loves her. I have been invited to the shower she is hosting and in my gut I feel that by attending I am sanctioning this behavior. Everyone is pretending that everything is OK and normal. Am I enabling my nephew's irresponsible behavior by going?

Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.


I can understand your concern about attending the shower as seeming like approval of the behavior that is going on here. It is sometimes very difficult in these situations to know how to handle the feelings that they create.


Although your nephew's behavior is not healthy, the baby shower is for the baby. You are helping the child, not his/her parents. Try to see it that way. This baby will be born into this situation at no fault of it's own so treat the invitation as any baby shower and bring something you feel will help that child get a good beginning in life.


You also may want to keep your relationship with all parties involved on good standing. You never know how this will all play out, and you may end up playing a very important role in the baby's life. If you get along with everyone involved, this will only help that child have an additional, level headed, and safe person to turn to.


I hope this has helped you,


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