Ask a Psychiatrist and Get Answers to Mental Health Questions ASAP
Hi! You know, to give you the best answer, I think I should ask you a few questions first that will help define the problem and the situation.
Any extra information that will help, feel free to share.
Let's go forward from the answers to these questions.
I'm not making up lies. Here is the situation.
I frequented a forum called AllDeaf. I'm Deaf and I interacted on those forums with other Deaf or Hard of Hearing people in threads and discussions.
One such thread was in regard to an AllDeaf meet in Chicago while a Deaf Nations Expo was in full swing at that time.
I said it was possible I would go, since I live in an area that is so rural that I am basically the only person in my town that is Deaf and speaks both orally and in Sign Language.
On the forum there is a sub forum called penisarium that adults would frequent (the sub forum is of a sexual nature). I made a thread on there asking men if they liked butts too besides being a boob guy. I had a few responses and was asked to show my butt for perusal. I sent two emails to two different men with a picture of my butt in boy shorts underwear before figuring out that I could make an album without having to use another website to host pictures or email.
Now back to the thread about the meet in Chicago. The two men that I sent the email of my behind to planned on going to the meet. One of them I was speaking to in Private messaging about where everyone who planned on coming were going to stay, have dinner at, and a few drinks later. I sent this private message to the woman who started this Chicago thread too not just him.
This was not a back and forth private messenging day after day, it was once in a while. This same man I spoke to also invited everyone openly on the thread that they could come to stay at his place in Indiana for the night and attend a Deaf Proffessionals Headquarters Hour with him the night before the meet.
At some point after that my boyfriend and I got into a fight and I left and I planned on going to Chicago and having my mother go with me on the drive. The plan was that I would drive to Portage just outside of Chicago and meet with my grandparents halfway to drop my mother off and I would go to Chicago for the night and day and drive to my grandparents place and stay with them for a couple of days.
I was at this time trying to work things out with my boyfriend and the night before moving back in with him I spoke to the man who I had been communicating with in private messaging and told him that it didn't look likely that I would go to Chicago and I probably would drive straight to my grandparents instead since so many people where backing out.
The following day the same man sent a message and said 'If you still plan on dropping your mom in Portage with your grandparents, the offer for you to stay at my place still stands. I would love to hang out with you for the day.'
He believes that I developed a relationship with him. The man I spoke to was not interested in it.
That is just it. I have told him the truth about everything. This is a man that accuses of his niece, daughter, sister and any friend of his of lying. He claims to know when people are lying. A lot of the time he finds out the fact that they were actually telling the truth.
I didn't lie to him about anything. I admited to the pictures. But the chicago trip he believes that I was planning on meeting this man and staying overnight with him. He neglected to see that He offered this same thing to other people openly on a thread both male and female. This was not a planned orgy.
I walk around in a bikini does that make me promiscuous? I was wearing a boy short underwear in the picture. There are worse pictures with my naked parts that he has shown to other people.
I have admited to my mistakes and apologized for it.
Thank you for the added information. It helps a lot. I believe I can now be of help with this issue.
First, let me say I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. Your boyfriend seems to be very suspicious and it seems not just about you. Suspiciousness seems to be part of his character. And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. Your question to me is how you can convince him you are not lying. But now that you have given me the additional information, it seems clear to you as well as to me that he is not able to be convinced that you are not lying. Why not?
Because the problem is not in you. The problem is that his character is the way it is. He is not a trusting person and he suspects the people he is close to. This is something that comes with him. In other words, if you are going to be in a close relationship with him, you have to be prepared for him to not trust you and to be suspicious.
It sounds as though this frustrates you very much and you do not feel it is fair. It also seems that it fuels your anxiety and makes you very nervous, which makes you sometimes not be able to think clearly on the spot. This is very hard and you have to make a judgment: does being his girlfriend satisfy you enough and make you happy enough to put up with his suspiciousness and the anxiety he puts you through when he gets suspicious?
Because this is going to always be part of being his girlfriend. So this is the decision you have to make and no one can make it for you other than yourself. I wish you the very best!
Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX