Hi! I believe I can be of help with this issue. First, let me say I can imagine how overwhelming this situation must be for you. You seem like a very loving mother and he truly is an unusual young man in his generosity and kindness. And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. You are very concerned about him. You are both people who have great love and kindness inside of you. This is the way you must approach him in finding out if he is using again. You must start off by telling him how much you love him and how amazed you are at his generosity and how grateful and that you are very concerned. That you don't want to anger him but you are very concerned. And then ask him very openly if he is using again. And if he denies it, then you must tell him the reason you are asking:
That when he was at your house for dinner he seemed just like when he was using. Give the details of what he was like. Tell him how much you enjoy when he comes for dinner and ask again if those were not signs of him using again. If he denies using, ask him if he would like to go to NA again. And tell him that even though it is hard for you, you are going to go to Nar Anon to just freshen up your skills and to get the support.
And then it is up to him. You will have done the best you can. But you can't do more than that. He is an adult and you need to let him find his own healing. But you should indeed go to Nar Anon.
I wish you the very best!
Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue, just put "for Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX