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Arundhati
Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 256
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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need u to read this conversation with my gf tries to

Customer Question

need u to read this conversation with my gf..

tries to control you by being very bossy or demanding.
     Tries to isolate you by demanding you cut off social contacts and friendships.
he did that to me
i can't even go out with my GIRLfriends
i also read
"getting out of an abusive relationship"
to be honest
never got out of it
i never ask to break up with him
i was still holding on to him
he was the one who left me for someone else
which is why i guess i'm not exactly healed
you see the "does the person you love....."
almost all of the points
was what my ex did to me
i have to msg him every hour where am I
because of him i became very stubborn wtih my parents
he ask me to quit choir
don't let me go out with friends
always make me feel like sh*t
hit me
slap me
push me on the ground
i'm not holding on to him
i realize i was just never healed
if he never cheat on me
if he never leave me
i think i now still with him sia
he would force me to have sex with him
he changed me
rom a confident person
an outspoken person
into a quiet person
and eventually
just don't feel like doing anything
anymore
just tired
i remember...there was once
he said
he would wait outside my skool
after my class release
i came out
waited for 20mins
he still not there
so i thought
since my friend going to coffeeshop buy drinks
i just follow her only
10mins walk back
he was there
he saw that i not coming out from skool
wa lao
he scold me like crazy
he call me a slut
and bitch
he ask where i go
i said i just follow ym friend buy things
he say i lie
he say i go with some other guy
he say i go have sex with some guy
he call me a slut
wtf
he was the first and only person i ever had sex with
i was damn effing loyal
to him
i was a very very loyal gf
i don't even LOOK at other guys when i was with him
all i love is him
i don't understand why
he have to do all those sh*t to me
i was so young
so many things i dunno
he manipulate me i also dunno
i love him so much then one day he keep finding reasons
argue with me
fight with me
everything all my fault
i'm always apologizing
he cheat on me i still stick with me
i was ok being his "part-time" gf
when his new gf not free then i can meet him
i would be so happy when he could meet me
i'll cook for him
bake for him
play game with him
everything that he did to me
i keep quiet
i didn't tell anyone
cuz i don't want ppl to think he's a bad person
for 2 years straight
i said nothing to no one
all i keep it to myself
i only write it in a diary
when he broke up with me when i was 16
that was the very first time i wrote my original
i still got the raw recording of it
4 years ago
i send it to paul he say he can feel the pain
the feelings too much until i have to express it somewhere
i use music to escape
that time everyday
i at home
never call out
play piano only
go*
then finally
i got the courage to bitch to my friends about him
but i was already scarred
already a changed person

ME:u can stil become who u were..

its hard because it happen during my sec skool days
during my character developement days
i was going to develope into a confident showgirl
was going to
but something happene
i'm not even sure what is my full grown self
i'm stuck at 14
i dunno what i was going to be
if nothing happened
when i'm with you
i feel like i'm myself when i was 14
only with you
he the one who started all the sexual crap la
he didn't affect me emotional buthe harmed me pyhsically
ever since that 2 bastards
i never i thought iwould meet a nice guy
who is Yan
he was so nice to me i couldn't get used to it
then i took advantage of that
i actually used him for revenge of my exes
i was quite bitchy with him
but i dunno why when i wanted to leave him he suddenly go crazy =/
be?
you know
when we got together
suddenly you got protective of me
and got fierce
i thought you gonna be possesive like my first bf
and I actually liked it..
dunno why
you reminded me of that and i like it

END CONVO.
(i took out all what i said because she doesnt seem to be reading what i said. shes just typing out all what she wants..
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Arundhati replied 3 years ago.
Hello,

Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.

It is clear that you care very much for your girlfriend and want to help her.

The best way you can help her is to refer her to a professional therapist who will be able to identify the core issues she is dealing/struggling with and share with her appropriate coping mechanisms, strategies and techniques that she will be able to apply and feel better.

On your part, you can continue to stay supportive and listen to her. Sometimes just listening to someone, being attentive to what they are saying without offering any suggestions can be very healing.

I hope this has provided you with some perspective.

Please let me know if you have questions. Also, if this was helpful please consider clicking on "Accept" as experts are not paid for their time or service otherwise.

Warm regards,

Arundhati

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