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mindhealer, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 693
Experience:  Licensed in MD and am also a Board Certified Diplomate (Advanced Practioner) I have over 10 years experience
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Im 33 years old and was a product of the same technique of discipline. Ive ne

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I'm 33 years old and was a product of the same technique of discipline. I've never viewed it as abuse, however, I've been haunted my whole life with the after effects. What do I do now? To this day, I'm afraid of my mother.
Hello. First let me say I'm truly sorry for you having to experience this. It would be helpful to know more details as to the symptoms you experience so that I can help you and direct you best. I'll list a set of symptoms and if you can identify with them let me know.

1) feeling hypervigilant. For instance feeling on guard and getting startled easily if someone comes up behind you

2) having recurring and/or intrusive thoughts about the events that took place when you were younger

3) having nightmares about the abuse

4) difficulty in maintaining relationships due to trust issues, etc

5) a sense of blaming yourself for what happened

I look forward to your response and wanted to say thank you for the opportunity to help answer your question and guide you in the healthiest direction
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Thank you...first not sure if you understand that I found you via a dr. phil website...i viewed a video from one of his programs - look specifically at what this mother's 10 year old daughter had to film. (the mother was punishing her 7 year old son - with hot sauce and a cold shower to follow) i can't believe that this was exactly something that happened to me. I'm also adopted; adopted when i was 4....can remember bad treatment from the very beginning. The list of symptoms that you gave - yes, #1 is real for me. # XXXXX is real for me. and #4 and yes # XXXXX others - i have felt sorry for my mother and have also resented her. (my father has passed away, always wondered why he didn't stop this sort of thing(s) ) I am the oldest of 4 children...all separate adoptions.....i saw this happen to them too...feel guilt! I'm newly married....haven't told my husband everything....he's extremely supportive and loving...I'm afraid to have children...i don't want to be the same way. (this is alot ....i've never wanted to say out loud that i was abused.....i think i was)
I watched the video and it truly is horrifying. I cannot begin to express to you the pain it caused just to watch it. I can only imagine the huge impact that it's had on you. I believe in being completely honest when offering my answers on here. You were definitely abused but the thing is...that as a result of the abuse and your responses Tony questions indicates that you've also developed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and have never processed the pain and hurt you've endured.

My suggestion is that you strongly consider seeing a therapist to help you through this...specifically a trauma specialist. As for your concern about having children of your own...I can certainly appreciate where that stems from. Having said this, keep in mind that you are not your mother and recognize the horrific impact this form of discipline has so I believe that will make you an even better and more understanding mother. Aldo in receiving treatment foe the trauma will help you to reclaim your life.

I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX helps to answer your questions thoroughly and completely. Please feel free to ask any further questions you may have.

If I've answered your question to your satisfaction I would greatly appreciate your clicking the ACCEPT button thereby giving me credit for the answer I've provided. I hope this finds you well and look forward to your response
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