Hi! I guess it would not be appropriate to say I'm glad to hear from you, but it is satisfying in a human way to have more input and receive more of a sense of what's going on for you. I remember our previous exchange.
And you know, as I think about what you write, I have a different thought than I had the first time. What do I mean?
You write so powerfully about your sense of "nothing": of not receiving anything, of blocking your willingness to receive anything, of not feeling anything, you state it so powerfully.
And I wonder, then, how much of this is about him and how much is this a cry from within yourself about yourself? How much of this is that your life has had a momentum for a long time based on meaning and purpose. Not just your marriage to HIM, but your life itself. And that momentum matched the marriage's momentum. How much is it that your life has lost it's forward momentum and you have lost the sense of meaning and purpose?
I'm asking this as a question, I don't know for sure. I am asking it based on the sense of sheer, raw pain in your use of the word "nothing". And it's more than I usually get from couples who are bored with each other. How much are you feeling whole, purposeful, important, meaningful in your life?
How much of the lack of that is because of him? How much is because of your own life and forces within yourself?
These may be good questions to bring up in the couples therapy. You may be a more complex person and he a simpler one.
I wish you the very best!
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