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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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My wife, I feel, is extremely depressed and getting worse.

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My wife, I feel, is extremely depressed and getting worse. Family issues with her kids have gotten out of hand to the point she hasn't been allowed to see her 1 1/2 year old grandson, from her son, for 7 months. They live 2 miles from us. Another daughter is getting married in June and thins are stressful, the other daughter is divorced raising a 4 year old that expects my everything from my wife, especially her attention. She has issues from 40 years ago where her natural mother allowed her grandparents to adopt her and I believe it affects her to this day. That's the background. Currently she talks of ending her life to make everyone feel bad for all they are putting her through.
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 5 years ago.
Hi, Welcome to JA. I am sorry to hear about your wife's situation. Let me ask you a few questions before I offer an answer. Does she have any medical condition? Is she open to counseling?
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
No medical condition in fact quite healthy. She is open to counselling. She just wants answers to the grandson situation but the frustration builds and she's a wreck.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 5 years ago.
Hi, Thanks for your response. Let me say I can imagine how worried, anxious and sad you must have been about this situation. Your wife is having symptoms of Depression. It sounds like her condition may have to do with her relationship with her son and her daughter; she has not been allowed to see her grandson. Also, her daughters are emotionally dependent on your wife for different reasons.


I advise her to see a counselor to express and process her feelings and thoughts WEEKLY. A combination of psychotherapy and pharmacotherapy are considered to be effective to treat Depression. She may ask her primary care doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that she can work with weekly. Or she can call her insurance company and get a list of providers in her area. Or, she can search a licensed psychotherapist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as depression. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy. She may also want to create her mental image of psychotherapist that she wants to work with – Male or female? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So she can see it as an informational meeting. She can ask any question. If she seeks a low fee counseling and has no health insurance, she may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX to find the community mental health centers in her area in which she can get counseling even without health insurance.
In addition, you also may encourage her to try some or all of the following to improve and manage her mood - 1. Exercise moderately, but regularly, 2. Eat healthy but delicious meals, 3. Regularize your sleep cycle, 4. Don't drink to excess or abuse drugs, 5. Spend some time every day in play, 6. Develop recreational outlets that encourage creativity, 7. Distance yourself from destructive situations or people, 8. Practice mindfulness meditation, or walk, or an intimate talk, every day, 9. Allow yourself to feel pride in your accomplishments, 10, Listen to compliments and expression of affection, 11. Build and use a support system, 12. Pay more attention to small pleasures and sensations, 13. Avoid unstructured time, 14. Yoga, meditation, Acupuncture, Guided imagery, and massage therapy may be helpful. The books "The Relaxation & Stress Reduction workbook" by Dr. Davis, Eshelman, and McKay may be helpful for her. I hope she gets well. Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. P.S. Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Warm regards,



Edited by Dr. Olsen on 2/1/2011 at 6:10 AM EST
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