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Dr. Olsen
Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience:  PsyD Psychologist
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I.f a child is with a grandparent for the day is it normal

Customer Question

I.f a child is with a grandparent for the day is it normal that when the mother arrives home that the child would respond by saying, "no mommy" "go mommy". Then hug grandparent and not want anything to do with mother? Also when grandparent leaves child cries and reaches for grandparent. meanwhile slapping mother as she holds the child.
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Welcome to JA. Let me ask you a few questions before I offer an answer.How old is this child? Is she under any stress?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
The child is 2.5 years old. There is no known or obvious stress witnessed by myself.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I am still waiting on a response???
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I would like an answer to my question.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Thanks for your response. I have got a question: does this child spend time with her grandmother often? Does her mother go to work?

Edited by Dr. Olsen on 2/1/2011 at 4:49 AM EST
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Ok I will await your response. This is the first time using this service.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Thanks for waiting. It looks like my question did not go through. I was wondering if this child spends lots of time with her or his grandparent. It sounds like the child is attached to her or his grandparent. I also wonder if the child is angry at his or her mother who leaves him or her to the grandparent. I do not think the child's behavior is normal. But the child is holding big feelings about something.

-Could you explain his situation a little more?

Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I am the grandmother and I am not his primary caregiver. He attends daycare full time. He is never bothered when his mother has to leave. I also often pick him up from daycare and he verbalizes that he does not want to go home to his Mom. When I pick him up I will say, " are we going to go see Mommy" & he will always say no. He also always has a serious meltdown when I leave him. This behavior has been going on for a long time. I have also observed that she makes no attempt to approach him , hug or kiss when she is reunited with him after being separated for the day. I am concerned. This behavior troubles me.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Thanks for additional information. I will be back with my answer soon.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I look forward to your direction
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
Just checking in. Will I receive an answer this evening.
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.






Hi, Thanks for your response. Let me say I can imagine how worried and anxious you must have been about this situation. Your grandson's behavior is worrisome: he said "no mommy" "go mommy" and was clinging to you. He verbalizes that he does not want to go home to his mother etc. His mother also shows little affection to him at times.
I think he may have "attachment problems" to his mother for some reason. Another possibility is, his mother may have some mood disorder like depression. Does she appear to be sad or depressed? Mothers with depression tend to ignore their children. Their children experience emotional neglect from their mothers. What do you think? In any case, your grandson may not feel happy with his mother at home. He may be at risk of depression. I advise you to talk to his father about your concern: your grandson may have attachment disorder towards his mother. His parents may need to see a counselor for parenting skills. Or you may tell her or both that he may need more affection and attention from his mother. The book "Parenting From the Inside Out by
Daniel Siegel, Mary Hartzell" may be helpful. I hope your grandson is well. Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. P.S. Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Warm regards,


Dr. Olsen, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 2336
Experience: PsyD Psychologist
Dr. Olsen and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I am very grateful for your feedback. I was also thinking of hiring a child play therapist for an assessment. Could you please inform me of the credentials I should be looking for?
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Thanks for your response. It is a good idea for you to hire a child play therapist for an assessment, even though he is a little young. (I have worked with two year-old clients in the past.)


There are several ways to find a child psychologist or psychotherapist who takes your insurance. 1. You can ask his pediatrician for a child psychotherapist for an assessment and a play therapy session.

2.You can look for a licensed psychologist (Ph.D., Psy.D./State licensed) or psychotherapist (MFT, MFCC, LCSW) who SPECIALIZES IN CHILDREN (especially, young children)and PLAY THERAPY in a local community clinic or a local hospital. Or call his insurance company and get a list of providers with the above credentials in his area. 2. 3. You can search a licensed CHILD psychotherapist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as children. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Children and PLAY THERAPY. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that he wants to work with – Male or female? Old or young? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You can ask any question. You can also negotiate psychotherapy fee and number of sessions. Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any. P.S. Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Warm regards,

Edited by Dr. Olsen on 2/1/2011 at 7:03 AM EST
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, To add, I understand you are in Canada. You can look for a LICENSED CHILD PSYCHOTHERAPIST in your area. If you search a child therapist via Psychology Today, enter your city in Canada on the link. Please follow the instruction on my previous answer.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.
I also travel frequently to Phoenix, AZ and I will have him with me in March. Thanks again for your information!

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Dr. Olsen
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