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Arundhati, Counselor & Psychotherapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 259
Experience:  Licensed psychotherapist, Published Wellness Author
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My name is Wayne Bellamy. My wife is Terrill. She a wounderful

Customer Question

My name isXXXXX wife is Terrill. She a wounderful careing person who has been seperated from her two brothers for 20 + yrs they havent spoken or seen each other. Ever since there mother passed from cancer. I know this is killing her inside and not good for our family either how can I get them togeather and save I think the whole family
Submitted: 5 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Arundhati replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for writing in to Just Answer.

I appreciate your concern for your wife and bringing your important question here.

It is definitely sad to hear that your wife's brothers will not keep in touch with their sister and while she can certainly make efforts to establish contact with them, ultimately, how they react to, whether or not they are open to speaking with her or keeping in touch, is unfortunately not in her hands. I think the deeper issue here is how your wife can best deal with this situation. How can she effectively process her grief, her anger, sadness, frustration - any feeling she might be feelings, at her brothers. If you think about it, many of us are faced with unfortunately life circumstances from our own family severing ties, to loved ones leaving us, to our family members passing away - often times we have little control over these events - but what can work on, is how we process our feelings in such a way that it does not interfere with our normal functioning. For this reason, if your wife is currently not in therapy, I would recommend that you suggest therapy to her. Speaking with a professional and processing the pent up pain and/or finding ways to deal with her grief, can help both her and your family.

I hope this was helpful.

Please let me know if you have questions/thoughts based on what I wrote above.

Kind regards,

Arundhati and 2 other Mental Health Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
Relist: Inaccurate answer.
I think they would talk to her so much time has gone by we dont no how to contact them
Customer: replied 5 years ago.
how to convince her she needs to do this for her own hewalth
Expert:  Arundhati replied 5 years ago.

Thank you for the additional information.

If you feel that your wife's brothers would be open to speaking with her, in that case too I would recommend therapy for her because she will be able to work with a therapist to weigh the pros and cons of contacting them, how to best go about it, what she should say or how she should contact them. A therapist would be able to offer insight and support as she goes through what is undoubtedly an emotionally charged situation for her.

While you can certainly convince her to contact them, I think, what is equally important is for her to have ongoing professional support as she prepares to, or contacts them, as without that, she might feel worse off than now, if her brother's do not react favorably to her. That is why I would recommend her being in therapy as she processes this.

I hope this was helpful.

Please do let me know if you have questions/thoughts on what I wrote. You can do this by clicking on the reply button.

Thank you.

Warm regards,


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