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Sarah
Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience:  Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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i need to discuss things that happenned in my childhood I

Customer Question

i need to discuss things that happenned in my childhood
I am 51
I always thought it was siblings experimenting
i was 13 she was 15
we went as far as sex
I think it affected me deeper than i thought
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.
Hi, Welcome to JA. Let me ask you a question before I offer an answer. What was your sister's response to you? Are you open to counseling?
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I would go to councelling

she was cold towards me

did not want to discuss it

i was nieve at that age

we had doen a little touchy feely stuff like teasing

one day she called me in her room and was nude

she told me to take my shorts off and get on top of her

things happenned so fast

 

Expert:  Dr. Olsen replied 3 years ago.

Hi, Thanks for waiting. Let me say I can imagine how worried, anxious and sad you must have been about this situation. It sounds like you are holding big feelings about what happened between you and your sister in childhood. Do you feel sad, anxious, angry or guilt? In any case,
I advise you to see a counselor to express and process your feelings and thoughts WEEKLY. You may ask your doctor for a psychologist/psychotherapist that you can work with weekly. You can call your insurance company and get a list of providers in your area. Or, you can search a licensed psychotherapist on internet- such as the PSYCHOLOGY TODAY website. Go to (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/ppc/prof_search.php?iorb=4764) and enter your zip code and optional category of specialty such as trauma. Read psychotherapists’ profile to see if he or she specializes in Cognitive-behavior therapy. You may also want to create your mental image of psychotherapist that you want to work with – Male or female? Old or young? To note, many therapists offer initial consultation for free. So you can see it as an informational meeting. You can ask any question. If you seek a low fee counseling, you may call The United Way toll free # XXXXX to find the community mental health centers in your area in which he can get counseling even without health insurance.
In addition, you also may try some or all of the following to improve and manage your emotion - 1. Exercise moderately, but regularly, 2. Eat healthy but delicious meals, 3. Regularize your sleep cycle, 4. Don't drink to excess or abuse drugs, 5. Spend some time every day in play, 6. Develop recreational outlets that encourage creativity, 7. Distance yourself from destructive situations or people, 8. Practice mindfulness meditation, or walk, or an intimate talk, every day, 9. Allow yourself to feel pride in your accomplishments, 10, Listen to compliments and expression of affection, 11. Build and use a support system, 12. Pay more attention to small pleasures and sensations, 13. Challenge yourself, 14. Avoid unstructured time, 15. Yoga, meditation, Acupuncture, Guided imagery, and massage therapy may be helpful. The books "The Relaxation & Stress Reduction workbook" by Dr. Davis, Eshelman, and McKay may be helpful. I hope you get well. Please let me know if you have more questions or I have overlooked any.
P.S. Please remember to click the green accept button. Feel free to continue the discussion; my goal is to get you the best answers possible. Warm regards, – Dr. Olsen
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

I guess Iwas looking for more of an explanation but did not get it

thanks anyway

 

Expert:  Sarah replied 3 years ago.

Hi there,

 

Thanks for your question. I hope I can give you the explanation you are looking for here. When something happens that is shocking or unexpected in our life, (however young, some believe even childbirth) then a memory can be held in the subconscious mind that is very vivid and clear - as if it was yesterday. The memories are almost touchable - the colours, sounds, textures, faces, etc. That's because the related emotions are locked within the memory and that is what has affected you more than you thought. The memories have been outside the person's realm of normalcy and the brain has found it too difficult to process away. We normally process away our anxieties at night, but if the brain tries to process something too 'big' we can get nightmares and we wake. OK, so what can you do about this? I strongly suggest that you find an EMDR therapist, who will help you to process these memories and the related emotions and beliefs about yourself away. EMDR is a trauma therapy that is used all around the world to help people with various memories, from small fears and phobias, to tsunamis and abuse. No memory is too small. Then the memories can drop back in time to where they belong without worrying you any more, as the emotion is released. You can find more details about EMDR and a therapist local to you at www.emdr.com It is never too late to do this therapy and you may be surprised how much better you can feel when you have let your memories go. I do hope this helps you to understand and that you find this answer valuable enough to pay for. Best Wishes, Sarah

Sarah, Psychologist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 143
Experience: Chart'd Psych, 12 yrs exp. English prisons, Clinical Hypnotherapist, EMDR Therapist, BPS, HPC reg'd.
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