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Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC
Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5518
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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I am chronically but not continuously depressed..have seen various mental health

Resolved Question:

I am chronically but not continuously depressed..have seen various mental health professionals over the years..and continue to end up feeling dark, needy and worthless..I am a successful veterinarian and older mother of 2 girls(15 and 7) Today after breaking off an "imaginary"relationship 10 days ago with a man that I thought was the "one" , I am on the edge of breaking...
what can I do..to overcome this dark and desperate feeling?
Submitted: 3 years ago.
Category: Mental Health
Expert:  Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC replied 3 years ago.
Hi, I'd like to help you with your question.

 

It sounds as if you are dealing with a depression that is deeper than just a loss of a relationship. The ending of a relationship can cause a depression but usually it also causes other grief stages as well such as bargaining, anger and acceptance. You work through these and they eventually go away and you recover. Only if there is a deeper issue does the depression stay.

 

You mentioned working with a counselor. Have you explored any unresolved childhood issues you may have? Was there any abuse or neglect? Usually, abuse and neglect will cause lingering depression and feelings unworthiness throughout your life unless you deal with it. Severe losses such as deaths or traumatic accidents can also cause lingering depression as well. A poor relationship with your parents can also cause these feelings. An emotionally unavailable parent for example can cause a feeling of emotional neediness from unmet emotional needs.

 

There are ways you can cope with how you feel. Continuing your work with the counselor exploring possible roots to why you feel depressed, needy and worthless. You mentioned seeing a Christian counselor so I am going to guess you have faith in God. Faith can help you increase your sense of wellbeing through prayer, church activities and reading the Bible. Fellowship can fulfill the need for companionship as well.

 

You should also consider increasing your social activities. If you have the time, volunteer. Increase your contact with family and friends. Take your girls out for a pamper day for all of you. Go away for the weekend. Anything you can think of to help you get outside of yourself and be involved. Often, you have to do the activity before the feeling follows and you feel better. So even if you feel like you are going through the motions, still try the activity. You may find that eventually, you feel better.

 

You said you have been working with your OB on how you have been feeling. You may very well have menopause issues. However, it should not cause a depression like you described. Check with your doctor about a possible hormone imbalance beyond menopause. They can refer you to an endocrinologist if need be to get an idea of your hormone levels.

 

I hope this has helped you,

Kate

Kate McCoy, M.Ed, NBCC, LPC, Therapist
Category: Mental Health
Satisfied Customers: 5518
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues.
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